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The Angry Therapist Podcast

Therapy Thursdays: How to know when to stay, repair, or let go

The Angry Therapist Podcast

John Kim

Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.61.1K Ratings

🗓️ 7 May 2026

⏱️ 17 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this Therapy Thursdays episode, we’re answering your questions about dating, attraction, conflict, infidelity, and the messy middle of deciding whether a relationship is worth repairing. We explore what to look for when you’re dating, how much of your past to share with a partner, and whether physical attraction can grow over time. We also get into the harder questions: why a spouse might become distant after an affair, how to rebuild trust, when to go to couples counseling, and how to know whether conflict is healthy or a sign that something deeper is wrong. This episode also touches on emotional healing after heartbreak, finding yourself again, staying positive through difficult seasons, and why an ex might still be watching your life from a distance. Whether you’re dating, rebuilding, questioning, or letting go, this conversation is about learning to listen to yourself, understand the patterns at play, and make choices from clarity instead of fear. 🎙️ More about John: 📘 Pre order my new book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://a.co/d/031PzkW4 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

When was the last time you stopped and listened to your body?

0:03.0

Here's a Holland and Barrett ad break to do just that.

0:06.0

Go on.

0:08.0

Tune in to your body's energy levels.

0:10.0

Is your brain struggling to focus?

0:13.0

Are you about to let out a midday yawn?

0:15.0

Or is your body crying out saying,

0:18.0

You've got to show me love.

0:24.5

We know what your body's asking for.

0:27.2

In store online on the app.

0:28.4

Back your body.

0:29.7

Holland and Barrett.

0:32.1

Things you would never bring up in therapy,

0:45.3

you could bring up here. What should you look for when you are dating?

0:48.9

First, get rid of this idea of the one.

0:51.7

The one is the person that you are choosing to love. That is the one.

0:55.9

And if that doesn't work out, then they are no longer the one. The one is the person in front of you.

1:02.2

I think that because of society and culture and Disney movies, we grew up thinking that there's only one person for us in our life.

1:10.7

And I think

1:11.1

it's damaged and puts a lot of pressure on the relationship. So redefining what the one is. And then

1:16.9

two, I would say you're looking for one's ability to provide a safe space. You're looking for

1:25.0

someone who takes ownership. You're looking for capacity, right? You're looking for someone who takes ownership. You're looking for capacity,

...

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