Welcome to Love and Abuse, the show about helping you identify poisonous communication and toxic behavior.

You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness.

That's why it's important that you learn to pinpoint manipulative and controlling behavior so that you keep your power and your sanity.

I'm your host, Paul Koliani.

Thank you. power and your sanity. I'm your host, Paul Koliani. Welcome back to episode three of love and abuse. I'm so glad you're here.

And I just wanted to let you know that this show was created

for the purpose of anyone experiencing any manipulation in their life, any type of what

could be generalized as emotional abuse, manipulation, coercion, all of the kind of the dirty games that some people play

that really put us in a situation that we are not thrilled to be in.

In other words, that make us feel bad.

Not only feel bad, like one of the definitions that I like to use for emotional abuse

specifically is when someone not only makes you feel bad but also feel bad about yourself

and so there's a game that some people knowingly or unknowingly play there There's two types of people out there, the ones that

know they're doing it. I mean, the emotional abusers, the manipulators, the coercive type,

the unethically influential type, that they play this game that they may or may not know they're

playing. I speak from experience. I was married for four

years and during that time, and not even only in my marriage, in other relationships too, but

during that time of my marriage, I was highly manipulative. And I didn't know I was. I didn't know I

was doing it until the day we separated or a few weeks

after we separated, I had this realization that I was being manipulative. I was being, and I didn't

know the term back then, but I was being emotionally abusive. And I was doing so in many ways.

And one of them was being highly judgmental I was

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