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The Warrior

You don't want to know what goes to the... The Warrior. You don't want to know what goes through the warrior.

You don't want to know what goes through the mind of a warrior.

We were about money, life-threatening illness, rabbit kitty cats, and rollerblades.

I am a warrior.

Take, for instance, a harmless ant bite.

It looks an awful lot like a black widow bite to the naked eye.

So do mosquito bites, and raised freckles and flax of barbecue sauce.

Once while doing yard work, a small spider darted up the leg of my pants.

It made it as far as my you know what's.

I stripped down to bare flesh only to discover our neighbor watching me do a version of the Roger Rabbit unfit for cable television.

But I worry about more than just spiders. See, whenever someone offers me a drink, I sniff the glass

for unfamiliar residues. See, I'm no dummy.

I watched A-Line before. One minute, you're making small talk, and then, bam, a little anter-freezing

...