The World Is Hard, That’s Why Home Shouldn’t Be (feat. Jon Fogel)
After Bedtime with Big Little Feelings
Dear Media and Big Little Feelings
4.5 • 5.8K Ratings
🗓️ 28 January 2026
⏱️ 54 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Most parents are doing everything they can to raise good kids, and still feeling exhausted, reactive, and unsure if they’re actually helping in the long run.
So much parenting advice is obsessed with today’s behavior: listening, sharing, cooperating, “being good.” But this episode zooms out and asks a much bigger question: Who are you raising your child to become?
Kristin sits down with parenting researcher, Whole Parent founder, and author Jon Fogel to challenge one of the most deeply ingrained ideas in parenting: that control and obedience create resilient kids. Together, they unpack why obedience can look like a win in the short term, while quietly undermining confidence, resilience, and emotional health over time: and what actually builds those skills instead.
They explore how everyday power struggles shape the adult your child will eventually become, why so many well-intentioned discipline strategies backfire, and how shifting from rules to values can completely change your home dynamic.
This episode will:
* Help you shift your focus from short-term obedience to long-term emotional health
* Reframe discipline as skill-building, not behavior control
* Clarify the difference between rules and values — and why values actually stick
* Explain why yelling is a nervous system issue, not a discipline strategy
* Give you a framework for parenting with respect, boundaries, and authority
This conversation will change how you think about discipline, power, and success in parenting. It’s for parents who want to stop micromanaging behavior and start raising confident, capable adults, without losing boundaries or authority along the way.
This episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.
Experian - Get started with the Experian App now! See experian.com for details.
Ka’Chava - Go to kachava.com and use code BLF. New customers get twenty dollars off an order of two bags or more, January 1st through the 31st!
Peloton - Explore the new Peloton Cross Training Tread+ at onepeloton.com
Skims - Shop our favorite bras and underwear at skims.com. #skimspartner
Produced by Dear Media
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | The following podcast is a dear media production. |
| 0:05.5 | Besties, I am so excited for you to hear this conversation with John today. |
| 0:09.1 | First of all, John is one of my dear friends of whole parent. |
| 0:11.8 | And second of all, he had so many mic drop moments. |
| 0:16.6 | Like, we are talking about parenting, but we're talking about these really sort of big picture things. |
| 0:23.7 | He's dropping so many things that just kind of give you the chills and make you think, |
| 0:28.6 | whoa, oh, holy shit, okay, I can do this or I should do that or whatever it is. |
| 0:34.1 | I'm so excited for you to hear this conversation. And I'm so proud of you for taking |
| 0:39.2 | time out of your busy, jam-packed schedule. And I mean that, even if that schedule is just wiping |
| 0:46.3 | butts all day. That is a jam-packed schedule and being here. Welcome to after-bedtime, where the |
| 0:53.9 | house is finally quiet, but the real noise begins. |
| 0:57.7 | The thoughts, the questions, the wondering if you're doing any of this right. |
| 1:01.8 | We're Kristen and Dina, child behavior experts, moms, and co-founders of big little feelings, |
| 1:07.3 | and we're not here to give you more pressure or perfect parenting energy. |
| 1:11.2 | Nope. We're here to tell the truth, the unfiltered, beautiful, brutal truth about what it means |
| 1:16.9 | to raise kids and re-raise ourselves in the process. Because parenting isn't just about sleep |
| 1:22.5 | schedules and snack hacks. It's about healing. It's about breaking cycles. It's about becoming the kind of adult |
| 1:28.5 | you want your kids to grow up to be. This is the place where we say the quiet parts out loud, |
| 1:33.6 | and we're so glad that you're here. Friends, I have one of my favorite people in the world |
| 1:39.0 | sitting right here across from me in a, well, a Zoom screen, so kind of sitting next to me. My friend, |
| 1:45.6 | John Fogel, he's probably the guy that's on your algorithm where he has a baby on his chest |
| 1:50.6 | and he's giving you parenting advice. You absolutely know him. If you are not following him, |
... |
Please login to see the full transcript.
Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Dear Media and Big Little Feelings, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.
Generated transcripts are the property of Dear Media and Big Little Feelings and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.
Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.