Forever!

Dog!

Warning!

The following month may contain

floods, facades, ferocious apes,

fires, more serious fires that destroy the facades and ferocious apes,

plus a tramload of memories from the best damn summers this host ever had.

Proud Universal Studio Tour graduate Tour.

My name is Scott, and I'm going to be your guide this month as we take you behind the scenes of the place that takes you behind the scenes of some of Hollywood's hottest filming locations.

Quick thing to mention at the top, unfortunately the DVD player is not working.

It's been skipping all morning, and that means that my planned co-hosts, Whoopi Goldberg, and

Jimmy Fallon will be not at our disposal today or perhaps throughout the entire month.

But we have the next best thing.

I always consider you guys the next best thing to those two people specifically.

Mike Carlson and Jason Sheridan, hi. Hi. Hi, yeah, I'm here too. Now that you've said that the celebrities aren't here, we're really going to sound like shit. That was unfair. I built myself up with this tour guide tone and then knocked you guys in the legs. These beloved celebrities, how could we stack up? No e EGOT. You're not any of the way you would love. I mean, but neither, none of us are any of the way to, you know. I'm but a W, a WN, a W-N, a W-N, a W-Gild nominee. Well, that's not anywhere. No, that's not on the chart to egot whatsoever.

I won screen junkies movie fights a few times.

So there, that's a thing, right?

And that's winning, which I did not.

That's true.

Well, let me just, if we're doing a little like, you know, ping pong rally right now,

what I will say related to today's topic is that I did win the universal tour guide short film festival

in which Ron Meyer, head of the studio and negotiator of the Tonight Show fiasco,

...