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Basketball Illuminati

The Woj Files

Basketball Illuminati

Count The Dings

Comedy, Sports, Basketball

4.91.5K Ratings

🗓️ 11 March 2026

⏱️ 97 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Tom Haberstroh, Amin Elhassan and producer Anthony Mayes remember the last Sloan Conference 6 years ago, before Rudy Gobert changed the world forever. Truth Teller Ethan Strauss of ⁠⁠House of Strauss⁠⁠ drops in fresh off a viewing of Tombstone to tackle a trio of topics: - The NBA pulling the plug on Atlanta's Magic City Monday and Luke Kornet's open letter. - Adrian Wojnarowski's involvement in St. Bonaventure coach Mark Schmidt's sudden retirement after 19 years. - Pablo Torre's reveal of a 2023 whistleblower complaint filed with the SEC that alleges the Clippers circumvented the salary cap to pay Kawhi Leonard. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Subscribe to the Illuminati YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Channel⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Basketball Illuminati is now part of the Count The Dings Network. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join the Count The Dings Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the show, get ad free episodes and exclusive content at⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/countthedings⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ILLUMINATI MERCH HAS RETURNED⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Check it out here:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/CTDMERCH⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Basketball Illuminati! On⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Email us: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠basketballilluminati@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@bballilluminati⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@basketballilluminati⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hey listener, it's Zach Harper, Amina al-Hasson, and Anthony Mays of Cynophobe.

0:06.2

You may be asking yourself, what is Cinephobe? I mean, would you like to fill in the people? Cinephope is the podcast for Zach and I watch movies that are poorly rated on Ron Tomatoes and try to ascertain. We're trying to ascertain. Yes. Okay. Accertain. Whether or not they're accurately poorly rated, or maybe they didn't get a fair shake.

0:22.5

Cynopo produced by this guy Anthony Mace.

0:24.5

Hey, that's me. I produced this show. I also watched the movies, even though that wasn't included in the description. And I also ascertained. This month is... Wow. Oh, Maze, what do you say that? Supercharge it. So that this promo can remain evergreen. McAvity. I feel like explaining a little bit more. In 60 seconds? I don't know. Maybe I don't bring attention to it. Assuring people like, look, if you listen, you're going to get it. Just give it time. That's a good promo. Just listen to it. Give it time. You'll figure it out. Is this the promo right now? Isn't it? Okay, I think we got it. Sid-a-vote. Where we get podcasts? The comments made by Minel Heston are made by him and him himself and nobody else. And not indicative of basketball, Luminati, Time Habistro, Anthony Mays, or any guests incorporated.

1:11.9

Amin, you're at Sloan Conference.

1:13.5

My fellow nerds and I will retire to the nerdery with our calculators.

1:16.6

It's a six-year anniversary of the Sloan Conference when I remember we were walking around

1:20.5

the building where we're watching people wipe down the escalator handles.

1:25.6

This is my lasting memory.

1:29.2

You're walking in the convention center,

1:35.0

the Thomas Medinau Convention Center. And as you pass people you see and you know, you go in for the dapp and then someone's no, no, no, no with a big sarcastic look and extends their elbow out.

1:40.2

And we'd laugh. Ha ha ha ha. This is so dumb. I can't believe we're all doing this.

1:45.5

Obviously, we didn't know that five days later or so, give or take, the whole world would change.

1:51.3

But the thing I always think about is, yes, probably elbow daps better than handshakes.

1:58.6

You know what it's also better?

2:00.2

Not having thousands of people in a very close space

2:02.9

walking back and forth. What a petri dish, man. I remember DMing Ben Cohen, who was then,

2:10.7

I think, at the Wall Street Journal. Are you going to Sloan? Because he had a panel where he was doing

2:16.2

some sort of thing. And we were talking about the Sloan

2:19.3

conference. And I remember the two of us sitting there just being like, I don't even know if we

2:23.6

should be going to this. Should we ask other people if they're going and kind of get like a

2:27.9

roll call of whether this is a very dumb idea? And we ended up just going. And I remember sitting

...

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