The wind beneath my wings & other tales

Simon Mayo's Confessions

Bauer Media

Comedy

4.9 • 1.3K Ratings

🗓️ 29 May 2026

⏱️ 45 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Step into the confessional with Father Simon and the Collective for soup-based horror, airborne football crimes, and one truly catastrophic “wind” in an operating theatre.

First, a classic from the crypt: Lorraine’s 80s tin-code mix-up leaves a brother eating chicken soup… plus a black, gelatinous blob of mould, followed by two days in hospital that nobody even notices.

Then Alf’s military hangover meets bright surgical lights — and a “silent but prolonged” moment that has a surgeon hauling out intestines in search of a hole that isn’t there.

Plus: Alistair secretly watches England v Tunisia during take-off and celebrates by waking a baby, and Penelope’s husband repeatedly breaks into the wrong Caribbean hotel room… straight into a naked German.

Got a confession? confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk

Transcript

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0:00.0	Sister Susie here. Now before we head back to the confessional booth, I have a new notice on the notice board from BT, the people who keep the nation connected.
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1:59.9	A Rayo Original podcast.
2:03.5	Step into our confessional. Confess all. We won't tell anyone. Just the entire nation.
2:10.1	From Greatest Hits Radio, Simon Mayo's Confessions.
2:15.2	Just doing some research. Hang on. Oh, really? Okay. Okay good. Right time to do it. Checking some statistics. Okay. Checking the listeners. Where are the statistics from? Checking the approval rates. Oh, the approval rates. Oh, yeah. And the love. Yep. I just looked at the thing and it does say that this is the best and most loved podcast in the UK.
	...

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