Don’t go chasing waterfalls & other tales
Simon Mayo's Confessions
Bauer Media
4.9 • 1.3K Ratings
🗓️ 22 May 2026
⏱️ 49 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Confessions Collective for a vintage school-days reckoning, a Wembley fishbone emergency, lockdown jigsaw vengeance, and a fairground waterslide disaster.
Nigel relives the wild early-80s logic of collective punishment after a playground scuffle leaves a classmate dangling from a fence — and an innocent kid caught in the mix for reporting stolen trainers.
Then Helen’s 1987 FA Cup final is overshadowed by a bone stuck in her throat, a dad who won’t miss the match, and a lifesaving carton of Ribena.
Plus: Flora steals one crucial jigsaw piece from her cheating ex, and Rick’s Water Boggan sends a furious passenger out drenched… without the dinghy.
Got a confession? confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This weather's giving you ideas, isn't it? |
| 0:02.8 | Virgin Atlantic holidays has got you. |
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| 0:09.7 | Or order a Virgin Margarita, extra salt on the rim in Mexico. |
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| 0:26.1 | Select routes. |
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| 0:29.0 | Until protected. |
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| 1:46.6 | You don't. It's a new low. |
| 1:48.4 | They're the mullet of footwear. |
| 1:50.0 | And what's wrong with mullets? |
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