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These people just make noise and basically waste our time.

Dear members of the media and the public, I welcome you.

Live from the heart of Atlanta, Georgia and beyond, hour one of the Von Hessler Doctrine

begins right now.

I am your lovable, hug-able,

radio chat host, Eric Von Hessler.

The other voices you hear are the doctrinares.

Man of a thousand voices, Tim Andrews.

Lady of 184.7 characters, Autumn Fisher is here, ladies and gentlemen.

We also have the man behind the glass,

George Clark, and the handsomest producer in all of producery, Jared Yamamoto.

We are a show divided today, Eric.

Well, we are not, hold on.

First, before we become divided, let's unite. We have to come together, yes. We have to unite and say Autumn Fisher, who has not been here for a while, we are so happy and so glad to have you back. Thank you. I'm happy to be back. That is good. And I, uh, and, uh, Autumn's father's memorial was over the weekend and you ever you know anybody who's lost a parent

knows what autumn has been through and obviously we've all missed you very much autumn Fisher

it's just great to have you back thank you I can't wait to say something funny and everyone laughed

that's it or you know I think we you know instead of the government shutdown clock, by the way, I'm talking, this is, you can, you'll follow the chant that we have here very easily. You'll pick it up easily. Okay. I'm talking about the government shutdown clock. Government shut down clock. Government shut down clock. Shut down clock. Okay, it's going to take a little time. All right. Hey, you know, I'm not saying training wheels. I'm just saying, you've got to ease back in. That's all. Government shut down. You got to ease back in. But how come there's no government shutdown clock up on the, I'm looking at the monitor? They don't want to besmirch the peace deal. That's right. We found peace. By the way, you got some peace over there in the Middle East, huh? Finally after, I don't know how many years, you know, going back to the Romans, there's peace. There is peace between the Arabs and the Jews. Yeah, and so you got this done. What's next? Well, there's always something cooking on the horizon. Right now we're going to embark on a peace deal between the Klingons, the Romulans, and the Vulcans. I will be traveling to the neutral zone. I believe that's with the other federation ships, and hopefully we'll have a big accord.

I don't know.

I don't trust those Romulins.

See, that's the...

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