What's up, Relationship Theory listeners, this is Tom and this is Lisa. And we want to share with you guys about our awesome friends at Thrive Market. Thrive Market is a revolutionary online marketplace on a mission to make healthy living easy and affordable for everyone. And these guys are the largest retailers in the country that sell exclusively non-GMO groceries. And you guys know what Lisa has gone through. We're super psychotic about making sure that we know where food is coming from, that is non-GMO and all of that good stuff.

And you can shop for thousands of best-selling non-GMO foods and natural products, always at 25 to 50% below traditional retail prices. You guys can get everything you need. Non-GMO foods, snacks, vitamins, supplements, personal care products. Eco-friendly cleaning supplies, safe and non-toxic beauty products, kitchen staples, home goods, organic baby food, kids products, and much, much more. And it's all shipped straight to your door. And here's what makes them amazing. 70% of Thrive Market's catalog can't be found anywhere else online, even on Amazon. Wow, even on Amazon? Even on Amazon. So check out Thrive Market today, visit 5market.com. 4th slash relationship to get 25% off your first order and a 30 day free trial. And guys, remember, Thrive Market's price is already 50% off. So that's a discount and free trial on top of the reduced prices. So head to Thrive Market today, visit Thrive Market dot com, for its slash relationship, and get 25% off your first order, and a free 30 day trial. Remember guys, Thrive Market's prices are already up to 50% off, so that's a discount and a free trial on top of the already insanely reduced prices. Incredible. So enjoy. And be legendary. Be legendary. What has up impact to this? Thank you so much for tuning into this episode. Now I want to take a moment to share with you about another amazing show. I'm super proud of this one. It is called Health Theory. Health Theory is a bi-weekly interview show hosted by me. Each episode offers tactical steps that you can use to hopefully live forever. You guys know my goal and I'm actually not at all joking about that and I'm trying to really bring on amazing guests. They're going to help us all thrive right now today and hopefully extend our lives to reach the outer limits of your potential. You have to train not just your mind, but also your body and this show is gonna help you tackle the body side of the equation. I cover a ton of questions and topics including fitness industry myths, ideal diets, expanding human lifespan, avoiding illness, and much, much more. Just search for health theory on iTunes, Spotify, or wherever you like listening to your podcast and be sure to hit subscribe. All right guys, check out an episode today. See what is going on in the show. I think it's amazing. I think it will literally change your life. So get over there right now, subscribe. All right guys, enjoy and be legendary. Hey everybody, welcome to another episode of Relationship Theory. I'm your co-host, Tom Billu. I'm here with my beloved wife, Lisa, and we're about to rock your world. Wow. It's Derek. Let's do it. Alright, let's do kick off with iTunes review of the week. This is from Shannon. Shannon, I'm sorry about that. What I love is that you didn't practice that beforehand. That's amazing. Because you were rushing me.

You want to tie my tie?

You said I'm ready when you're ready.

You want to tie it.

See, this is the style. So basically, is lying going to become like a habit in our marriage? I do want the regular reflect that she said, I'm ready when you're ready. Yeah, but it's not fun. Which apparently is code for don't rush me. It's kind of fun to figure out these names as I read them, oh god, it's shinnan, shinnanidraes.

Sure.

That sounds like intense names.

I- It's kind of fun to figure out these names as I read them, oh God, it's shinnan, shinnan knee-drays. Sure. That sounds like intense knee-drays. I have been listening to this podcast for well over a year now and hands down has been the biggest impact on my life. My mindset habits and life have shifted in ways I never thought possible. From the amazing guest, health theory and my ultimate favourite relationship theory, I've learned to communicate effectively with those around me and continuously strive to be the best version of myself. I can't rave about this podcast enough and excited to see what else is on the horizon. Sad, the loser is a listener now that we can't say her name. So, thank you, Shen. I'm just going to abbreviate it for that lovely review and guys that is our, what I'll ask this year is to really try and grow our podcasts as much as we possibly can. So our ratings and our reviews are definitely something that is priority for us. So if we are bringing you value and you do like this podcast and the rest of our podcast, please, please do subscribe and tell your friends about it if you think we can evaluate you to them. Exactly. All right. And also one more thing if you guys do want us to answer any questions we will happily do it anonymous just mention that you don't want to be named and please email questions to connect at impact theory dot com that's connect at impact theory dot com. Word. Got it all. All right. Now let's kick it off. All right.

First question.

This is from a to connect at impacttheory.com. That's connect at impacttheory.com.

Word. Got it all. All right. Now let's kick it off. All right. First question. This is from Alina Pedraza. My man and I love your show and listen to all the content you provide.

Not just relationship theory and we've really awesome in-depth conversations about it.

One of our recent conversations was about human attraction. One of us believes is primalal because we are hardwired for reproduction and sex. Well, the other one believes attraction is more conscious and chosen. And that ultimately we consciously choose who we attracted to based on our emotional needs and it's not strictly primal. How do you guys think about attraction would love your impact? What I love is that she didn't say who it was who. Yeah, I certainly have my guesses. I do too, but I'm actually it's really interesting. Okay, great freaking question and go. Yeah, so I think that it's a bit of column A and a bit of column B. So there's some really fascinating research on this topic. Sex It Dawn is a pretty interesting book. That's the only one I can remember off the top of my head, but there's some pretty pretty interesting and compelling research. Oh God, if we really wanna get crazy, like the studies on, the studies on, like. Like, it's not shy right now. It's not shy. It is entirely that I have employees

that listen to this show.

And so there's definitely stuff where I'm like,

I would talk about this without hesitation

in my just like my normal life.

Anyway, so without wasting the listener's time,

there's really interesting studies

about sexual arousal where they've measured the,

oh God, I can't remember if it's, I think it's blood flow to the vagina, blood flow to the penis while they show different sexual images. And there's like men definitely have. And there's been some pushback on this recently. So take some of this research with a grain of salt where people are saying that the device they use to measure blood flow to the vagina may not be like entirely accurate. it's really fascinating even if it's only directly correct. And basically it's like men have one, like if they're straight, they only respond to straight images, if they're gay, they only respond to gay images, where women have a much more flexible sexual response, which is utterly fascinating. pop culture culture, and that's as far as I will take it, in pop culture, you see massive references. In fact, the new song, I don't know if you noticed the lyric, Thank You Next by Ariana Grande. One of the Thank You Next X's is a woman. It's really fascinating to me, certainly, that there's cultural acceptance around women being attracted to men, to women that is more about the person than it is about just the raw pre-programmed sexual response. Also, I will say you're about to say that. It wasn't part of that study as well, that women also just responded to watching two men together they just like, they respond to sex basically. They responded to like chimpanzees having sex. And so obviously that does not mean that they're attracted to that. Let's be abundantly clear. I don't know. Nobody is saying that not even the people in the study. But it was fascinating to see that there was much more rigidity on the male side than there was in the female side in terms of blood flow. I want to be abundantly clear about what they were actually measuring. So that is interesting. I'll let people draw their own inferences. But now to how, you know, is pop culture revealing something that is innate or is it just that where like there becomes this momentum and it shapes people's behavior rather than the other way around. I won't even postulate on that. But I do think that it's interesting that there are sort of multiple data points that seem to suggest that there is a higher degree of flexibility with women in terms of, and I'll give one more data point to this, which is if you look at what men are attracted to as they age, when men are young, they're attracted to a 22 year old, when they're 22, they're attracted to a 22 year old, when they're 40, they're attracted to a 22 year old. It's hilarious to see the graph. It is like no matter what age the man is, 22 is what they find attractive. Women on the other hand, there's like a four year span on either side of their age. And so it moves. So when they're 22, it's like they find 18 to 24 attractive. Right. And it just moves up. So when they're 40, they find somebody who's 42 to 38 or whatever the exact window is. But it's like, it slides with them, which tells you obviously that what they're attracted to shifts as they age, but with men it doesn't. So I think that there's probably, well, I'll say that from my perspective, a thousand percent, there's a certain element that I consider absolutely manipulatable in my own life, a hundred percent, for sure. And I've talked about on the show many times that the scenario I play in my head is that you get horrifically burned. And I find a way to emotionally invest in that and to actually be like just as drawn to you as ever. And for sure, some of that is just empathy playing apart. Some of that is like value system. I value making you feel amazing. And so being able to fall in love with that and find a way to connect with it Is something that I would value in myself to find a way to do But I won't even ask people to buy into that because I've never done it So I can't swear that I would be successful at it But the thing that I can say is that I'm more attracted to you now than when you were 22 so But clearly you're about to turn 40 so the thing about if left to my own devices, the studies would suggest that I would find you at 22, that would be the thing that I would find most attractive. But because I've spent so much time investing in our relationship on an emotional standpoint and then very intentionally conflating that with sexual arousal that I've continued to just find you insanely attractive. But that is definitely something that I think about. It's something that I invest in. It's something that I intentionally, intellectually, and emotionally put together in my mind. To say, like, for instance, your hair to me is a representation of you stepping into yourself and being confident and feeling your power and really like owning who you are and not being afraid to take risks and all that stuff. So when I look at your hair, I am putting that in my mind. I'm saying, fuck, that's so hot. Like actually saying things like that and being like, it's hot not only because it's a cool and edgy hairstyle, but it's hot because of who you're becoming and that I value that, and this is why I'm obsessed with this notion of what you value is I guarantee valuable, and that as you invest in what you find, what you decide to value, that it will have knock-on effects, that over enough time begin to register on a limbic level. It's a literal neurochemical emotional response. in beginning, and the easy way for me to explain this to people is the reverse. Like you know that something can go from amazing to being a limbic emotional stress response. So like for instance, you have a, you like to hang out in the bedroom, right? You don't like to do work in the bedroom

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