4.8 • 2.9K Ratings
🗓️ 12 September 2025
⏱️ 16 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
We’ve been told from a very young age to “play it cool”... But as we grow up, we realize that when we feel we need to “play it cool” to keep someone interested, that often means we’re feeling anything but cool... and it usually comes from a place of insecurity or a fear of being rejected. Pretty soon, we find ourselves calibrating our conversations and contorting ourselves to meet the other person’s needs so we don’t come off as needy or a nuisance, and little by little, we start to show them that our needs can be ignored with no repercussions...
In today’s episode, you’ll learn the best way to increase attraction and investment in a way that doesn’t diminish your value or make you feel like a nuisance simply for stating your needs.
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| 0:00.0 | Play Final One Standing by William Hill. It's free to play with a new league kicking off every Premier League match week. Enter and make your first pick your first pick a new team before each following round. You can only pick each team once and if you're the final one standing then the jackpot is yours. Final one standing by William Hill, football's ultimate elimination game. 18 plus wins EPL season, one active league at a time on less prize 100,000 pounds or more, minimum prize 1,000 pounds. Prices vary and apply to public leagues only. Price split and four losing the same amount. Pay within 48 hours online, full teas and seas at Williamhill.com. Play responsibly. Hey, it's Theo, Luke and Joe from the Waffling podcast, and our podcast is currently sponsored by Audible. Want your next thriller fix? Check out the dropouts, the debut novel by screenwriter Liv Parkinson. |
| 0:41.5 | Kaylee Morris is just trying to survive her first year at uni. |
| 0:43.9 | A blur of social anxiety and parties. |
| 0:46.0 | But when she becomes the talk of the campus, Kaylee retreats and shuts herself away. |
| 0:49.8 | That is until she is chosen for a new module to try a new psychedelic drug, believed to cure anxiety. |
| 0:56.4 | But soon, the line between reality and fantasy begins to blur. |
| 1:00.3 | And she feels the pool of a new dangerous obsession. |
| 1:02.9 | Listen on Audible now, subscription required. |
| 1:05.7 | See audible.com.com. |
| 1:06.5 | For terms. |
| 1:13.6 | One of the most common mistakes that people make when they want more with someone is playing it too |
| 1:22.1 | cool. |
| 1:23.1 | Have you ever played it too cool? |
| 1:24.7 | Not asking for things. |
| 1:26.7 | Not wanting to be demanding, not wanting to |
| 1:30.2 | pester someone because you're worried that if you do, you will lose your value in their eyes. That your |
| 1:40.0 | value comes from being chill, indifferent, easy, convenient, and that if you were suddenly |
| 1:48.8 | to start asking for what you actually want, that person would leave. |
| 1:55.9 | There's the famous monologue in the movie Gone Girl where she is talking about what it is to be a cool girl. |
| 2:03.6 | Men always say that as the defining compliment, don't they? She's a cool girl. |
| 2:09.6 | Being the cool girl means I'm a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, |
| 2:15.6 | poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, |
... |
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