Welcome to Love and Abuse, the show about helping you identify poisonous communication and toxic behavior.

You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness.

That's why it's important that you learn to pinpoint manipulative and controlling behavior so that you keep your power and your sanity.

I'm your host, Paul Koliani.

Thank you. power and your sanity. I'm your host, Paul Koliani. Hey, it's Paul, once again with another episode of love and abuse, and I want to remind you

that all information on the show is meant

for educational purposes only. Always seek a professional for your mental health and well-being.

Received a message that I wanted to read on the air. I told the person that I was going to read this

to everyone that might be listening because I think it's helpful when you hear someone else's challenge

that you can perhaps relate to it at some level in some way. And that's why I read some of

these messages on the air is that you might have a similar challenge going on and we can

probably find a way to help you understand it, maybe get

through it, or maybe learn the truth about it that there is no way through it. Sometimes there

isn't. This may be one of those. I haven't really fully realized a response yet, but I'm going

to read you the message, or at least parts of it, and we'll see

where we go with it.

I had a man write to me, and he says, as I explore the question of whether my spouse is emotionally

abusive, I keep getting tripped up by her counters to what feels like everything I state.

It's actually very hard to counter with logic because that very logic then seems to be

used against me. When we exchange texts, it's so much easier to see the controlling and hurtful way

she speaks to me. Let me give you a concrete example. When I leave in the morning, she is usually still

somewhat sleeping. I give her kiss and I tell her I love her and sometimes even wish her a good day.

...