Welcome to Betrayal Trauma Recovery. This is Anne. Wendy is with me today. She is the average wife of an addict that all of us are.

She's amazing. She's an excellent writer.

Wendy has a particular interest in the topic of rape within marriage.

And so that's what we're going to be discussing today.

Welcome Wendy.

Hi, Anne.

So Wendy, you have a particular interest in this topic.

When did this interest begin?

My husband and I have been married for about 15 and a half years and I found out a couple years in that he had viewed porn and masturbated and I not knowing much I was like okay I didn't know what to make of it.

I mean I was crushed I remember the first time I found out I went

downstairs and I was curled up in a ball on the living room floor and just crying and it's pretty much like the only time I remember being that

devastated I guess and then he would disclose every so often that he had viewed porn or masturbated and of course it

seemed like it was just that one time. He started going to support group about eight years ago.

He would go off and on, and then about two or three years ago

he actually started working some recovery. then I went to a support group and that's

when I discovered this whole new world.

And I found out way more than I guess I ever wanted to know, but it has been really helpful for me.

And so he has admitted to raping me in my sleep. And yes, I am a very heavy sleeper so it's possible but I distinctly

remembered waking up a few times just feeling like I had had sex but I didn't

remember having sex and so I didn't remember having sex.

And so I'm thinking that those are the times

when he did that.

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