The Truth About The Spark in Relationships

Sex With Emily

Health & Fitness, Sexuality

4.2 • 6.7K Ratings

🗓️ 22 April 2025

⏱️ 63 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Is the spark gone? Dr. Scott Lyons, as I explore how to get the spark back in relationships and sex. We're talking about why the spark is not what you think and what you're actually looking for. In this episode, Dr. Scott Lyons and I discuss: ● Why the initial 'spark' might be misleading. ● The importance of evolving and growing in relationships. ● How trauma responses affect attraction and intimacy. ● The difference between intensity and intimacy. ● Practical ways to cultivate a sustainable and fulfilling connection. I share personal experiences and insights on dating, attraction, and the journey toward deeper self-understanding. Dr. Scott Lyons brings his expertise as a trauma therapist and somatic healer to help us understand the complexities of relationships and sexuality. Show Notes: 00:00:00 - Rekindling the Spark: What You Need to Know 00:02:45 - The Reality of Growth: Attraction Can Evolve 00:07:57 - Freedom vs. Attachment: Different Relationship Patterns 00:11:10 - Evolving Attraction: Hemisexuals, Saposexuals, and Demisexuals 00:15:03 - The Attraction ICK: Is There an Attraction Spark? 00:19:29 - Peeling Away the Layers: The Beauty of Intimacy 00:22:49 - The Honeymoon Period Is Drunk: Sobering Up and Finding Organic Excitement 00:27:40 - Variety and Newness: Keeping the Spark Alive 00:31:17 - Passion or Safety: Cultivating Eroticism in Safety 00:35:56 - Arousal Runway: Pottery Classes and Cooking Meals 00:40:19 - Developing New Habits: Making Time for Connection 00:42:51 - Chasing the Familiar: Red Flags as a Spark 00:46:16 - The Importance of Feeling Safe 00:49:54 - Childhood Was Perfect: Somatic Therapy and Nervous System Regulation 00:53:10 - Grounding in Our Senses: Getting Back to Sensuality and Connection 00:56:26 - Healing Patterns: Not Taking the Bait 00:58:20 - Sustainable, Healthy, Loving Relationships: Going the Distance Join the SmartSX Membership: Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. Yes! No! Maybe? List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides. SHOP WITH EMILY! (free shipping on orders over $99) Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok | Threads | YouTube Let’s text: Sign up here Want me to slide into your email inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular. Try Dipsea Free for 30 Days! Right now, you can get a 30-day free trial PLUS 25% off your annual subscription at DipseaStories.com/SWE See the full show notes at www.sexwithemily.com

Transcript

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1:07.9	For me, freedom is safety. And so attaching myself to someone is unsafe
1:13.7	because it's vulnerable. They could leave. They could hurt me, which in a sense, it's two sides of the
1:18.5	same thing. You're like, you're going to leave and hurt me if I lock it down. I'm probably like,
1:21.8	I don't even want to go towards that thing. And also, I've always felt my conditioning around my survival was that I'm doing it on my
1:29.7	own. I've got this on my own. It'd be fun to hang out, but I don't know that I need you around
1:34.4	all the time to be like my only one. Yeah. Yeah. Even though probably deep down inside, I really
1:39.3	would love that. Have you ever found yourself wondering, where did the spark go?
1:47.0	Like it used to be so good the butterflies, the chemistry, that can't keep your hands off each
1:52.3	other energy?
	...

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