Well, hello there. My name is Morgan Harper Nichols. I'm an artist and a writer, and this is a space where I share poetry and prose that I hope can make a little room for you to slow down just for a moment and take a few deep breaths as you prepare for whatever lies ahead.

Today's piece is called The Truth About Making Excuses.

Have you ever been told or received the message to stop making excuses?

Some of us have heard the message so strongly and loudly that we feel guilt and shame for asking for help when we really need it.

When we're not able to accomplish something in the way we feel like we should be able to,

we feel that it's because we've been making excuses and it's up to us alone to fix it.

According to Miriam Webster, an excuse is something you give

to explain a mistake or bad behavior. However, the phrase making excuses is often applied when

someone isn't working hard enough or aiming for their best potential. But here's an alternative way of thinking about it.

What if sometimes the reason why we're not able to accomplish something or reach a goal

isn't because of a mistake or bad behavior? What if we just need help? Perhaps some of the

things we've been told are making excuses

are actually areas where we've been trying to do more on our own than we actually can.

Maybe even when it comes to doing hard things and aiming for our best, it's okay to ask for help, even when we feel like we should be

able to do it ourselves. During the years of my life when I didn't know I was autistic, I used to

blame myself for not being able to accomplish simple task in an efficient manner. Everything from planning to take a shower or answering

emails in a timely manner has always taken a lot for me to accomplish. As a result, whenever I didn't

achieve some task in the way I felt that I should, I would tell myself it was because I was making

excuses. I saw my inability to keep up

with every task efficiently as bad behavior. I would see my unchecked to do list as a series

of mistakes I had made that I alone needed to correct. However, now that I know it is absolutely normal for an

autistic person to need assistance, I have learned to ask for help with everyday tasks, such as

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