Welcome to Love and Abuse, the show about navigating the difficult relationship,

from simple disagreements to emotionally abusive behaviors.

You deserve respecting kindness.

All the information on this show is meant for educational purposes only.

Always seek a professional for your mental health and well-being, and always pick your battles wisely.

I'm your host, Paul Koliani.

The trauma bond is very, very difficult to break.

If you're not familiar with a trauma bond,

just imagine a drug.

Just imagine you take a drug and it feels really good.

And then you come off that drug, you know, you come off the high or whatever it gives you.

And you want that feeling again because as you come off the high, you start feeling alone, depressed, sad.

So you get another fix and you take that drug again and now you feel good again.

Oh, this is wonderful.

I'm on this drug and as long as I'm on this drug, I'm okay.

But then you come down again because any drug will not last. There will be a point where the drug wears off and you go back to, quote, normal life.

The trauma bond is like that.

You are in a toxic relationship and when it's good, it's great.

And it feels so wonderful and you feel worthy and loved.

And then when they treat you badly, it's like coming down off the drug. So what do you want? You

want that next fix. You want that next high. So you come back or you stay. You come back if it's a relationship you're trying to leave

because you want more of that feeling. Or you're in a relationship. Maybe you live with somebody

...