The Tell Them Method - How To Stop Holding On To Emotional Baggage and Regret
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
iHeartPodcasts
4.8 • 28.5K Ratings
🗓️ 25 October 2024
⏱️ 34 minutes
🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS
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Summary
Have you ever regretted not saying something sooner?
Do you think holding in your emotions causes stress?
Today, Jay takes us on a journey through the principles of the Tell Them Method, explaining that whether it's a simple decision like not wanting to attend an event or a deeper emotion like feeling unappreciated, the key is to directly communicate those feelings to the person involved. He highlights that most of us practice what he calls the "Tell Everyone But Them" method—where we vent to others but avoid speaking directly to the person who needs to hear it. This behavior, Jay argues, not only erodes trust and intimacy in relationships but also traps negative emotions within us, leading to stress and even physical discomfort.
Jay uses relatable anecdotes and insights from research to underline the significance of expressing emotions in a healthy way. He discusses how bottled-up emotions can lead to passive-aggressive behavior, overreactions, and even health problems. By directly telling people how we feel—whether it’s disappointment, love, or frustration—Jay believes we open the door to deeper understanding and connection.
In this episode, you'll learn:
How to Use the Tell Them Method
How to Stop Avoiding Hard Conversations
How to Pick the Best Time to Talk
How to Share Feelings Without Fighting
How to Ask Instead of Accuse
Practicing the "Tell Them Method" approach in everyday life not only improves our relationships but also enhances our emotional well-being, giving us the clarity and peace that comes from being truthful and intentional in our interactions.
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
02:33 What is the Tell Them Method?
06:11 Why it’s Hard to Tell Someone How You Feel
09:29 Underestimate the Value of How Something is Said
16:06 The Three Things That Happen When Emotion is Experienced
18:26 How Trapped Emotions Can Create Trauma
22:52 Figure Out the Best Time to Talk About It
25:57 Don’t Wait for the Last Minute to Tell Them
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Our time to be carefree, make mistakes and figure out our lives. But what can psychology teach us about this time? |
| 0:10.0 | I'm Jemma Spegg, the host of the Psychology of Your 20s. |
| 0:14.0 | Each week we take a deep dive into a unique aspect of our 20s, |
| 0:18.0 | from career anxiety, mental health, heartbreak, money, and much more |
| 0:22.0 | to explore the science behind our experiences. |
| 0:25.9 | The Psychology of Your 20s hosted by me, Jemma Spegg, listen now on the I Heart Radio |
| 0:31.5 | Appel Podcast or wherever you get your |
| 0:34.2 | podcasts. |
| 0:37.0 | Hi Jennifer Lopez here with the new season of My Over Comfort |
| 0:40.8 | podcast. What's Over Comfort all about? |
| 0:43.4 | It's about inspiring confidence in all of us |
| 0:45.5 | and choosing calling Over Comfort. |
| 0:47.6 | Every Tuesday I'll be having real and honest conversations. |
| 0:50.8 | You'll hear it from me first before any Cheeseman hits your social media feed. |
| 0:55.0 | Join me as I create a space where opening up is not only okay, it's encouraged. |
| 1:00.0 | Listen to Over Comfort Podcast with Jennifer Lopez on the I Heart Radio app Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcast. |
| 1:07.3 | Get emotional with me, Radi de Lucia, in my new podcast a really good cry. We're going to be talking with some of my best friends. I didn't know we were going to go there on this. |
| 1:16.0 | People that I admire. When we say listen to your body, really tune in to what's going on. |
| 1:22.0 | Authors of books that have changed my life. body really tune into what's going on. |
| 1:22.7 | Authors of books that have changed my life. |
| 1:24.8 | Now you're talking about sympathy, which is different than empathy, right? |
| 1:28.1 | Never forget, it's okay to cry as long as you make it a really good one. |
... |
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