The Surprising Science Behind Building Deep Relationships | Eric Barker
Finding Mastery with Dr. Michael Gervais
Dr. Michael Gervais
4.6 • 1.8K Ratings
🗓️ 5 October 2022
⏱️ 81 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This week’s conversation is with Eric Barker, a former Hollywood screen-writer turned author whose dedicated following of over half a million people look to Eric for his (often counter-intuitive) insights and research-backed advice on how to be great at life.
In 2017, Eric penned his Wall Street Journal bestseller Barking Up the Wrong Tree, which reveals the extraordinary science behind what actually determines success and most importantly, how anyone can achieve it.
However, over the last several years Eric pivoted to taking a deep dive into the science of relationships and recently published his newest bestseller, Plays Well with Others: The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Relationships Is (Mostly) Wrong.
And that’s why I was so excited to sit down with Eric – if you’ve been following this podcast, you know I’m a big believer that relationships are foundational to exploring potential and achieving our very best… no one does it alone… through relationships, we become.
So, it was a joy to speak with Eric about all things relationships – what we’re getting wrong, the antidote to loneliness, how to cultivate deep friendships, love, communities, and so much more. I hope you leave this conversation with a new perspective on what a healthy relationship feels like, and… maybe even inspired to re-examine how you approach them.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | The bad news is, like I said, if you're walking into the marriage casino, the odds are against you. |
| 0:07.0 | But the difference here is that now we do have far more freedom. |
| 0:12.0 | Marriage is self-defined in a lot of ways. |
| 0:15.0 | So if you do the work, if you really try, put the effort in or are proactive, then you can have a happy marriage. |
| 0:22.0 | And actually, better than that. |
| 0:24.0 | Eli Tenkel's research at Northwestern. |
| 0:27.0 | The happiest marriages today are the happiest marriages that ever existed. |
| 0:31.0 | Okay, welcome back. |
| 0:41.0 | Or welcome to the Finding Mastery podcast. |
| 0:44.0 | I'm your host, Dr. Michael Jervé, and I'm really excited to welcome Eric Barker. |
| 0:51.0 | And Eric is a former Hollywood screenwriter and then turned author, where he shares his, |
| 0:57.0 | I would say, often counterintuitive insights and research on how to live a great life. |
| 1:04.0 | So Eric is the best-selling author of Barking Up the Wrong Tree. |
| 1:09.0 | And earlier this year, he published his newest book called Play Well with Others, |
| 1:14.0 | The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Relationships Is Mostly Wrong. |
| 1:21.0 | Eric, thanks for being here. |
| 1:23.0 | I'm really excited to have you on. |
| 1:25.0 | Oh, it's great to be here, man. Thank you. |
| 1:27.0 | Cool. So maybe we can start with a quote. |
| 1:30.0 | And when I read this, two things happen. |
| 1:33.0 | One is I was like, oh, that's a great bit of writing. |
| 1:38.0 | And it's also telling about you. So here's the quote. |
... |
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