The Surprising Link Between People Pleasing & Your Health: A Medical Doctor’s Recommendation on How to Say “No”

The Mel Robbins Podcast

SiriusXM Podcasts

Education, Mental Health, Relationships, Self-improvement, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 10.6K Ratings

🗓️ 16 November 2023

⏱️ 57 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Does this doctor have the health secret you’ve been looking for? Does people-pleasing really make you sick? Dr. Neha Sangwan is an internal medicine physician, bestselling author, and accomplished researcher. Today, Mel sits down with Dr. Sangwan to learn the truth about people-pleasing. Topics discussed include: People-pleasing: What it is. Are you a “yes” person? The difference between “going with the flow” and people pleasing. Why avoiding conflict makes you a people-pleaser. What your “childhood blueprint” is and how it shapes adulthood. People pleasing and the link to illness. What your parents did or said to turn you into a people-pleaser. Why people-pleasing is a coping mechanism. Why you can’t deal with other people’s discomfort. How to trace your people pleasing back to a single moment in time. Why being stressed, irritated, and tired is a sign that you are a people-pleaser. Why being a control freak may be a sign of people pleasing. How to unlearn people pleasing. How every conflict in your life traces back to childhood trauma. What happens, from a medical perspective, when you have an unresolved conflict? The secret reason you’re an overachiever. How to stop your people-pleasing behavior at work and set better boundaries. What it really means when you resent the people you love. Why people-pleasing is a “protection tool” you learn to use in childhood. The link between chronic worry and people pleasing. The simple 3-part framework Dr. Sangwan uses to say "no" when you mean "no". How 80% of all illnesses are caused by stress. The 5 questions you should ask yourself to understand what your body is really trying to signal to you. You can purchase Dr. Sangwan’s book, ‘TalkRx: Five Steps to Honest Conversations That Create Connection, Health, and Happiness’, here: https://a.co/d/iaVNwiL Download a FREE audio chapter from ‘TalkRx: Five Steps to Honest Conversations That Create Connection, Health, and Happiness’, here: intuitiveintelligenceinc.com/mel Follow Dr. Sangwan: Instagram: instagram.com/doctorneha Webpage: intuitiveintelligenceinc.com Watch the episodes on YouTube: https://bit.ly/45OWCNr Check out my book, The High 5 Habit: https://a.co/d/g1DQ8Pt Follow me: Instagram: https://bit.ly/3QfG8bb The Mel Robbins Podcast Instagram: https://bit.ly/49bg4GP LinkedIn: https://bit.ly/46Mh0QB TikTok: https://bit.ly/46Kpw2v Sign up for my newsletter: https://bit.ly/46PVnPs Want more resources? Go to my podcast page at melrobbins.com/podcast. Disclaimer

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast.
0:04.0	So a couple weeks ago, I was invited to go down to the Today Show,
0:12.0	and I love being on the today show because first
0:14.1	of all I love Hoda and Jenna secondly I just love going on the today show because it's
0:17.6	always super fun and it's a really fun morning and it's everything that you would
0:21.8	imagine it would be. And when you're
0:24.0	backstage at the today show you are in these hallways where tons of people are
0:28.8	coming and going, whether it's the folks that are working on the show or it's the people that are appearing on the show and so you just never know who you're going to bump into.
0:37.6	And so I'm standing back there and the first person that walks by is Charlotte Tillsbury, who is this very famous makeup,
0:45.8	entrepreneur and artist, and this fabulous woman who always talks like this darling.
0:50.6	And I am a huge fan of Charlotte Tillsbury.
0:54.0	And so she stops and I'm like,
0:55.0	and she's like, oh, and then I go,
0:57.0	oh my God, my daughters love you and I love you.
0:59.0	And she's like, I love you.
1:00.0	And so we have this hug and she was so fun and then she leaves and so I'm like oh my god that was Charlotte
1:04.8	Tillsbury. Well all the sudden around the corner comes this another extraordinary woman and she is so
1:10.8	striking she's tall and she is wearing this vibrant. I don't even know what color it was. It was like this
1:18.4	chartruse meets Kelly Green, Silk, Blazer, and matching wide-legged pants and she comes breezing around the
1:26.8	corner and she's so striking in terms of her presence. Like there's this like confidence and this warmth to her and it's the kind of person that you immediately are like I'd like to be that person's friends.
1:38.0	So I see her coming. I do the 10-5 game that I've told you about.
1:43.0	She's 10 feet away.
	...

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