Outsmart a Narcissist: A Proven 4-Step Plan to Take Your Power Back

The Mel Robbins Podcast

SiriusXM Podcasts

Education, Mental Health, Relationships, Self-improvement, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 10.6K Ratings

🗓️ 20 November 2023

⏱️ 93 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Is it possible to be around narcissistic people and not lose your power? Especially when it's your mom, dad, ex, or boss who’s acting toxic? Today, Mel is joined by Rebecca Zung, an expert on narcissism and a globally recognized high-conflict negotiator. Rebecca is also a top-ranked trial lawyer who has studied narcissism so that she could win against them in the courtroom. She’s written the playbook, SLAY the Bully: How to Negotiate with A Narcissist and Win. She is here to make the case that you CAN stay in power no matter how toxic the people are around you. And by following her 4-part plan, you can even win when dealing with narcissism. In this conversation, Rebecca discusses topics like: Narcissism: what is it? The 3 types of narcissism. What a covert passive-aggressive narcissist is. What a malignant narcissist is. What a grandiose narcissist is. The link between narcissism and divorce. The exact phrases that can change the dynamic between you and a narcissist. The top 3 sentences to disarm a narcissist without causing rage. Why “cutting off” a narcissist won’t work. The physical symptoms you can have when dealing with a narcissist. Why being “the victim” is keeping you trapped. What narcissistic supply is and why it is so important. The 2 ways a narcissist gets their “narcissistic supply". What happens in a narcissistic brain in childhood that flips a switch. The tie between trauma and narcissism. What the 4 non-verbal triggers for any narcissist are. Why a narcissist is just an 8-year-old throwing a tantrum. The reason why a narcissist actually fears you. The definition of love bombing and why it’s so addictive. What the 3 phases of a narcissistic relationship are. How you can be physiologically addicted to a ‘love bomber’ (it’s as addictive as cocaine). What narcissistic rage is and why it happens. What your 3 options are in a relationship with a narcissist. What happens when you become the focus of narcissistic rage. What those passive-aggressive or back-handed comments mean to a narcissist. What triangulation is, and how to protect yourself. The biggest myth about narcissists. The real reason why narcissists string you along. The 4-step process to getting your power back from a narcissist. The $2M apology. What to do when a narcissist is raging at you. When it's okay to tell a narcissist what they need to hear. The 3 things to stop doing now in a narcissistic relationship. How to respond to an accusatory email at work. What you need to know about negotiating with a narcissist. Why saying “I’m anticipating…” disarms any narcissist. The first boundary you need to create with a narcissist. What to look for as signs that you are dating, engaged to, or married to a narcissist. You can purchase Rebecca’s book, ‘SLAY the Bully: How to Negotiate with a Narcissist and Win’, here: https://a.co/d/bLWp5YZ Follow Rebecca Zung: Instagram: instagram.com/rebeccazung Webpage: rebeccazung.com Watch the episodes on YouTube: https://bit.ly/45OWCNr Check out my book, The High 5 Habit: https://a.co/d/g1DQ8Pt Follow me: Instagram: https://bit.ly/3QfG8bb The Mel Robbins Podcast Instagram: https://bit.ly/49bg4GP LinkedIn: https://bit.ly/46Mh0QB TikTok: https://bit.ly/46Kpw2v Sign up for my newsletter: https://bit.ly/46PVnPs Want more resources? Go to my podcast page at melrobbins.com/podcast. Disclaimer

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast.
0:04.1	I want to start off by just thanking you so much for being here with me today and to just acknowledge you because I know when you
0:15.9	tune in and you spend time with your friend Mel Robbins you are investing time in yourself and
0:22.3	improving your life and I just think that is so cool and today in
0:25.9	particular I am thrilled that you showed up because you and I are going to have a powerful and a life-changing conversation.
0:38.6	And I can promise you that because we're going to be talking about a topic that is the single most requested topic
0:45.1	that I get from listeners in 194 countries.
0:48.6	What is a topic?
0:50.1	It's narcissism.
0:51.8	But specifically, how do I deal with narcissistic people
0:56.6	and not lose my power?
0:59.0	See, here's the thing about narcissism.
1:01.3	There is so much amazing information out there about the
1:03.7	dangers of narcissistic people and why you need to end relationships with
1:09.4	narcissists with narcissists but ending a relationship with somebody it's not always that realistic right so that's not
1:15.8	we're going to talk about today because sometimes in fact oftentimes the narcissist
1:21.7	is somebody that you're close to the narcissist is somebody that you're close to. The narcissistic person is your mom or your dad or maybe it's one of your kids or your brother or your sister and despite what the experts recommend, you don't want them out of your life
1:35.7	and kind of plan the defense and pretending that you don't care. It's getting exhausting.
1:40.2	Or maybe you just can't end the relationship right now.
1:44.0	Like for example, the narcissistic person, it's your boss and you need the paycheck.
1:48.0	But you don't know how to deal with them.
1:50.0	Or maybe it's your ex and you guys have kids together. And so you're going to see this person over and over year after year after year at family gatherings or maybe the narcissistic person is your daughter-in-law or your
	...

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