The Super Power of Struggle! Modeling a Growth vs. Fixed Mindset Sets Your Kids Up for Greater Success

The Virtual Couch

Tony Overbay LMFT

Education, Mental Health, Health & Fitness, Self-improvement

5 • 643 Ratings

🗓️ 30 June 2021

⏱️ 32 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Want to help your kids succeed? Let them see you struggle, let them see you fail, let them know you are human! Tony talks about a fascinating study out of MIT that shows how modeling the reality of not immediately succeeding at something can have a positive impact on kids as young as 15 months old. The article Tony references "Want to raise successful kids, MIT scientists say let them watch you do this..." by Bill Murphy Jr. (https://www.inc.com/bill-murphy-jr/want-to-raise-successful-kids-mit-scientists-say-let-them-watch-you-do-this-but-most-parents-are-afraid-to.html (https://www.inc.com/bill-murphy-jr/want-to-raise-successful-kids-mit-scientists-say-let-them-watch-you-do-this-but-most-parents-are-afraid-to.html)) also breaks down the challenges of kids growing up with a "fixed" mindset vs a "growth" mindset. This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch (http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch) With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch (http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch) can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch (http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch) you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch (http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch)offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ (https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/)and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBoTony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4 (https://amzn.to/33fk0U4). The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com (http://pathbackrecovery.com) And visit http://tonyoverbay.com (http://tonyoverbay.com) and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ (https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ)

Transcript

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0:00.0	I completed my first marathon. It was the California International Marathon in 1996. And my goal at that time was to finish under four hours and I made it barely, finishing in three hours and 57 minutes. And it was amazing. And I had fond memories of that race. I passed a very sad juggling clown at around the 20 mile mark and realizing that it took me 20 miles to catch
0:23.0	a juggling clown who was running the event. And I remember finishing and having a difficult time
0:27.5	literally walking up onto the curb shortly after the race. And I felt the most incredible,
0:32.9	just amazing soreness and pain over the next few days, and I celebrated that pain and that
0:37.8	soreness, and that led to about, I don't know, maybe 40, 50 more marathons, including the
0:43.4	famed Boston Marathon in 2006, and from there I did a few dozen 50Ks of 32 miles, and then some 50
0:50.5	milers, and then 100Ks of 62 miles, and then 100-mile races with a few 24-hour
0:55.4	runs mixed in there as well, where I also realized that marathon pain was cute in hindsight.
1:00.6	A hundred-mile pain, that was amazing.
1:02.8	A walk down the stairs had to be done backwards for a few days because you couldn't engage your
1:07.1	quads at all as well as to just try to get in the vicinity of the toilet,
1:11.3	maybe a little bit too much information, and then just fall down backwards onto it.
1:14.7	I hope you stick the landing. But I digress. In those 24-hour runs, I covered anywhere from 111 to
1:20.3	125 miles. But the point being that I really don't talk about my first marathon entry.
1:27.3	That was back in 1995.
1:29.1	And so let me start up the excuse machine.
1:30.9	We're talking about pre-internet or at least pre-easily searchable internet.
1:35.3	And I had no real training plan.
1:37.3	I think I'd purchased a very large book that I never read.
1:40.6	So I was winging the training and better yet, absolutely winging the nutritional side of things.
1:46.0	Because about three days before the big event, this first marathon in 1995, I decided that I wanted
1:51.2	to feel lean, I wanted to feel light, I wanted to feel ready. So I stopped eating. I decided not to
	...

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