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The Virtual Couch

Healing From Betrayal Trauma with Brannon Patrick, Host of The Betrayed, The Addicted and The Expert

The Virtual Couch

Tony Overbay LMFT

Education, Mental Health, Health & Fitness, Self-improvement

5 • 643 Ratings

🗓️ 24 June 2021

⏱️ 49 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Tony talks about processing betrayal trauma with Brannon Patrick. Brannon Patrick is an expert in the field of Betrayal Trauma, and he plays the role of "the Expert" in the popular podcast "The Betrayed, The Addict and The Expert." His podcast follows the recovery journey of Ashlynn and Coby, a couple who have been able to move forward as a result of the pain of betrayal and addiction. Brannon has developed several group systems and programs for addiction recovery. He has specialized training as a Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist (CSAT) which has helped him learn how to treat sexual addiction and betrayal trauma. Brannon is also trained in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Brannon is the co-clinical director and owner of TherapyUTAH and he has developed several programs to help individuals, and couples, heal from betrayal, as well as addiction. This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch (http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch) With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch (http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch) can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch (http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch) you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch (http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch)offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ (https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/)and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBoTony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4 (https://amzn.to/33fk0U4). The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com (http://pathbackrecovery.com) And visit http://tonyoverbay.com (http://tonyoverbay.com) and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ (https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ)

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hey, everybody. Welcome to a very special bonus episode of The Virtual Couch. I'm your host, Tony Overbay, a licensed marriage and family therapist. And the very quick reason why you're seeing this bonus episode is it really did kind of come out of nowhere. And it's because I'm a couples therapist, a marriage therapist. And at any given time, I'm working with several couples or individuals who are

0:21.5

working through betrayal or the concepts of betrayal trauma or a recently discovered addiction or

0:27.9

infidelity, you know, acting out sexually outside of a marriage. But often when I get this new

0:32.6

couple or a new person and they come into my office and they open up about what they're going

0:37.0

through, they often feel so alone. You know, they feel... person and they come into my office and they open up about what they're going through. They,

0:38.4

um, they often feel so alone. You know, they feel broken. They feel ashamed. They feel embarrassed.

0:43.8

If it's the spouse, the, the, the betrayed, they can feel so angry and blindsided. And like their

0:48.8

entire world has been just ripped out and underneath their legs and they are trying to make sense of things.

0:55.0

Sometimes they go back and look through their entire marriage and they wonder if anything has

0:59.4

been true.

1:00.5

You know, they feel these intense feelings of shame or feeling like they are less than or, and

1:05.3

all these are such normal feelings and addictions that people are going through.

1:08.8

And on the side, excuse me, of the person that

1:11.7

is, we'll say for the betrayer, there really, excuse me, there has a deep need to try and control

1:19.6

the situation. I mean, psychologically speaking, that is something that we do a little bit as humans,

1:24.9

as we want to maintain control. We're so afraid that if we don't have control, that again, our entire world is going to fall apart.

1:32.4

And on that note, I mean, how does it feel when you're under somebody else's control and it doesn't feel good?

1:38.8

And this is the thing I talk about often, the concept of reactants where, you know, it's really the desire to do

1:45.6

the opposite of something that's been prescribed to us by others or something that we're told

1:50.1

that we're supposed to do or should do.

1:51.7

Again, nobody likes to be should on.

1:53.1

For example, if you attempt to control your spouse's diet, you might be met with an increased

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