Hello and welcome back to practicing human, the podcast where every day we're getting a little better at life.

I'm your host, Corey Miscara, and in today's episode, we're going to talk about the promise of an open heart.

More to come on that in a moment. First, let's settle in together with the sound of the bells.

Okay. First, let's settle in together with the sound of the bells. Don't wait for your life to get better before you open your heart.

Open your heart and your life will get better.

Most of us have this equation backwards.

We tend to think, well, once my partner changes, then, then I can soften.

Once my anxiety goes away, then I'll relax.

Once I have more money, then I'll enjoy my life and I'll take it all in and I'll be open to it.

This is a trap. It's a very deep, very subtle, and very insidious trap. And it's a trap for two reasons.

One, a closed heart is often the very thing shaping the life we're trying to escape.

And two, a closed heart makes us more miserable in a life that we may not be able to escape. And so we end up either perpetuating the conditions that we condemn or we feel worse in the conditions that we're not

able to change, often both. So let's break each of these down. Again, we have this belief that once,

once I'm open, then I'll soften my guard, right? And my first claim is that a closed heart

is often the very thing shaping the life that we're trying to escape. So when your heart is closed, you don't just suppress or protect yourself from pain.

You also distort your perception.

This is a really missed variable in living with internal walls.

How much it is filtering your sense of yourself,

your sense of possibility, your sense of other people, you often will assume the worst,

or you anticipate rejection, or you're bracing for the next person who's going to abandon you

and you interpret even just neutral moments as threats, sometimes even positive moments as

threats. When is the next shoe going to drop? And that bracing will change how you speak to other people.

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