The Science of Attunement: Stop Fixing, Start Connecting (The Velvet)
Velvet's Edge with Kelly Henderson
iHeartPodcasts
4.5 • 927 Ratings
🗓️ 18 February 2026
⏱️ 34 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Licensed clinical social worker and EMDR therapist Nidhi Tewari joins Kelly to discuss the powerful skill most of us were never taught: attunement. Based on her upcoming book Working Well, this conversation explores why trying to “fix” others often backfires, what to say when someone is overwhelmed, and how small conversational habits quietly shape trust. A practical, eye-opening discussion on emotional regulation, communication, and healthier relationships at work and in life.
You can preorder Nidhi’s book, Working Well, HERE!
Visit Nidhi's website HERE! (https://nidhitewarilcsw.com)
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HOST: Kelly Henderson // @velvetsedge // velvetsedge.com
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is an I-Heart podcast. |
| 0:02.5 | Guaranteed human. |
| 0:15.5 | Nidhawarie Tuari is a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in EMD therapy, excuse me, and is now the |
| 0:23.3 | author of the upcoming book Working Well, How to Build a Happier, Healthier Workplace Through the Science of |
| 0:29.9 | Attunement. Hi, Nithy. Hi, how's it going? It's good. I was telling you before the podcast, |
| 0:35.9 | I was making you walk through how to pronounce your name with me. And I saw, so if I got it a little off, I'm so sorry. It's good. I was telling you before the podcast, I was making you walk through how to pronounce your name with me. |
| 0:38.8 | So if I got it a little off, I'm so sorry. It's a beautiful name. I love it. But it made me feel like I have a little bit of a speech impediment. |
| 0:46.6 | You did great. Thank you. I really appreciate you clarifying how to pronounce it. |
| 0:51.1 | Thank you. We were talking about attunement before the podcast, and I don't think any of us |
| 0:56.2 | ever really set out to become the fixer in a relationship, right? Like, we want to love our people. |
| 1:02.6 | We want to do right by the people we're in relationship with, but that's never the goal is to be like, |
| 1:07.0 | oh, I'm going to be the fixer. I'm going to take this role on, even if it comes in the form of |
| 1:11.9 | like extra empathy, which is something I can really struggle with. So I want to talk through |
| 1:16.5 | your book and your book creates a solution of attunement as the solution to these problems, to these |
| 1:24.1 | fixer modes that we can all go into. And I was thinking about it before the podcast, |
| 1:29.3 | I was like, I bet a lot of people don't even know what attunement means. So let's start there. |
| 1:33.7 | If you had to describe attunement to someone who's never even heard the word or the concept, |
| 1:39.2 | how would you describe it? Attunement is the concept of being in tune or in sync with the people around you. So when you |
| 1:47.3 | think about the people that you really vibe with or feel deeply connected to, it's because they're |
| 1:52.0 | in tune and attuned to you. It's this moment to moment responsiveness that we have in our relationships |
| 1:58.3 | where we're able to recognize our own internal processes |
| 2:01.6 | and what's coming up for us while simultaneously holding the other person's experience |
... |
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