Hey everyone, great news. If you came to our live recording of New Moon, congrats on being special. You're the only one who gets to hear it. Sadly, the venue's software crashed and lost the audio. We assume they were sabotaged by Stephanie Meyer. All right, on to the episode. At karaoke, we all have that friend with a bad voice who thinks they can belt Mariah Carey.

So I appreciate Stephanie Myers pure guts and trying to improve on Shakespeare.

This Twilight book is based on Romeo and Juliet, though here the tragedy is they both live.

Today's roast is New Moon by delusion.

I'm Kellett Erskine.

I'm a comic, a father, and it's fun to have a book like this to let me know that I've grown as a person, because when I was 22, not only was, I honestly excited to read this,

but when it was over, I was disappointed I had to wait another year for eclipse.

And I'm David Vance. Just like Edward, I too try to be a protective boyfriend by hiding far

away while she's repeatedly attacked. New Moon was secretly written by a sexist man to prove

women are dull, weak, and utterly dependent on men. The series sold 120 million copies.

And this is the book pile. Here's a review we got from Runner 805 who says,

pros. This is a great podcast that makes me laugh. Cons? Kellyn Erskine Displays a clear

bias against whales.

I'm not sure what this is referring to.

I thought I kept this a secret.

He had some old whale tweets surface.

You have to do one of those notes app apologies.

Finally, our next two books are the big picture about how Hollywood keeps shamelessly remaking the same movies and Dune.

Again, super disappointing that the audio of the live show for this episode was lost.

But we do have some backup audio from that night. It's not great quality.

It was caught on an offstage mic. But if you'd like to experience a few of the magic moments

that happened that night and you've got a quiet room and some great headphones,

...