This is the Tom Hartman program.

Welcome back, Tom Harbin here with you.

I want to do a deep dive into psychology here and talk

about how it's connected to politics. So the psychology of relationships to start out with back in the 1980s a woman named Diane

Vaughn did some just an absolutely extraordinary research into how people form and dissolve relationships.

I'm talking about intimate relationships,

romantic or marriage kinds of things.

And what she found was that setting aside the how people get

together in the first place which is a whole other interesting thing.

Looking at the way that people break up, the way this typically works is that you've got two people who are in a

committed relationship in a long-term intimate relationship and one of them

let's call that person the offender,

although there's a negative image associated with that,

but I don't have a better word right now.

The offender will do something or engage in a behavior

that the other partner says this is a deal breaker for me.

I can't put up with this kind of behavior on an ongoing basis.

And so they say that. Now they typically don't say it quite that loudly or quite that

explicitly but they basically it's called the cry and not as in sobbing but as in

town crier right it's the announcement

that if you don't change this behavior on not a here

or please stop this behavior that would be kind of a midpoint

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