The Quiet Pain of Self-Loathing and Finding the Courage to Face It with Sarah Gormley
The One You Feed
Eric Zimmer
4.6 • 2.5K Ratings
🗓️ 24 June 2025
⏱️ 63 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In this episode, Sarah Gormley discusses the quiet pain of self-loathing and finding the courage to face it. Sarah had it all – a thriving corporate career, success, and admiration. But beneath was a quiet, relentless self-loathing she couldn’t shake. In her memoir, The Order of Things, Sarah shares the profound turning point at 40 when she finally asked, is this how it’s going to feel forever? She unpacks why therapy isn’t linear, how grief can deepen gratitude, and the freedom that comes when we stop performing and start genuinely living.
Feeling stuck? It could be one of the six saboteurs of self-control—things like autopilot, self-doubt, or emotional escapism. But here’s the good news: you can outsmart them. Download the free Six Saboteurs of Self-Control ebook now at oneyoufeed.net/ebook and start taking back control today!
Key Takeaways:
- Journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance
- Importance of mental health and therapy
- Struggles with self-loathing and emotional challenges
- Impact of grief on personal growth and gratitude
- Relationship dynamics and self-worth
- Caregiving experiences and their emotional complexities
- Navigating grief while supporting others
- The role of compassion in healing
- Tools for managing negative self-talk and thought patterns
- The interplay of environment, genetics, and personal agency in shaping identity
If you enjoyed this conversation with Sarah Gormley, check out these other episodes:
How to Tame Your Inner Critic with Dr. Aziz Gazipura
How to Practice Self Compassion with Dr. Shauna Shapiro
For full show notes, click here!
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | The relationship with yourself is the relationship that's most important, and it informs everything else, romantically, professionally, my siblings. |
| 0:12.2 | Welcome to the one you feed. |
| 0:18.6 | Throughout time, great thinkers have recognized the importance of the |
| 0:21.7 | thoughts we have. Quotes like, garbage in, garbage out, or you are what you think, ring true. |
| 0:28.7 | And yet, for many of us, our thoughts don't strengthen or empower us. We tend toward negativity, |
| 0:34.7 | self-pity, jealousy, or fear. |
| 0:40.1 | We see what we don't have instead of what we do. |
| 0:43.3 | We think things that hold us back and dampen our spirit. |
| 0:45.6 | But it's not just about thinking. |
| 0:47.1 | Our actions matter. |
| 0:51.6 | It takes conscious, consistent, and creative effort to make a life worth living. |
| 0:56.3 | This podcast is about how other people keep themselves moving in the right direction, |
| 0:58.6 | how they feed their good wolf. |
| 1:07.0 | On the surface, Sarah Gormley had it all, a thriving corporate career, success, admiration, but beneath was a quiet, relentless, self-loathing she couldn't shake. In her memoir, |
| 1:13.2 | the order of things, Sarah shares the profound turning point at 40 when she finally asked, |
| 1:20.0 | is this how it's going to feel forever? In our conversation, we discuss why therapy isn't linear, |
| 1:25.7 | how grief can deepen gratitude, and the freedom that |
| 1:29.9 | comes when we stop performing and start genuinely living. I'm Eric Zimmer, and this is the one you feed. |
| 1:39.0 | Let's talk about something that might be keeping you up at night. Cyber security. According to Vantar's latest |
| 1:45.7 | state of trust report, it's the number one concern for UK businesses. That's where Vanta comes in. |
| 1:52.1 | Whether you're a startup, growing fast or already established, Vanta can help you get ISO-2701 certified |
| 1:58.8 | and more without the headaches. |
... |
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