The Quantum Witch

The Commercial Break

Bryan Green

Comedy, Improv

4.5 • 758 Ratings

🗓️ 25 April 2024

⏱️ 61 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Spooky season came early, because the Quantum Witch is here to explain quantum computing in a completely cool and chill way. A chiropractor meth orgy Don’t drink and drive! Coachella Paris Hilton playing cornhole (get ur bag, sis) Bryan & Krissy use Google! Prince being incredible Bob Seger’s electric underpants Respect RESPECT Bryan & Krissy don’t know that Dancing On My Own is a pillar of the gay community 33 Penis not featured

Transcript

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0:00.0	Now, house fire, what item would 8% of Australians run back in to save first?
0:06.4	8% is low.
0:07.7	I'd say 100% would run back in to save a child,
0:10.6	but only 8% would run back in to save a red-headed child.
0:18.5	Don't go, please, Luke. I'm sorry.
0:22.7	Redhead children are actually immune to fire.
0:29.8	On this episode of the commercial break.
0:33.4	I take my hole and I stick it toward the sun.
0:36.7	And I say,
0:38.8	Rarp, Rart, magic fart!
0:42.2	Make me a quantum computer!
0:45.5	And wha-bam!
0:50.2	Now you can see tits on porn 3.5 times clearer!
0:52.7	Look at those nipples.
0:56.8	I suck up every Instagram post with a nipple on it.
0:58.2	And all of a sudden,
1:01.5	that's quantum computing. Yeah, it's quantum computing.
1:03.2	That's right.
1:05.8	The next episode of the commercial break starts now.
1:13.6	Oh, yeah, cats and kids.
1:15.3	Welcome back to the commercial break.
1:17.1	I'm Brian Green.
	...

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