Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm Baylor F. Jessie Thorn. This week, the puck stops here.

Steve brings the case against his friend Scott. Years ago, Scott introduced Steve to a love of hockey by inviting him to professional games and teaching him how to play.

Steve went on to play in a local wreck league, but Scott quit playing entirely.

Now, Steve wants his friend to get back into the sport and play one last season with him.

Should Scott get back out on the ice or continue to watch from the stands, only one man can decide.

Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom and presents the obscure cultural reference.

We've taken a little of the tailgating scene on the day of the actual game.

Life's sweet. Small things often tend to describe themselves. And that's true here too.

People wear jerseys, lindros and flurry, whalers and canes, stall and coal and skinner, skinner, skinner.

It feels relaxed and friendly and familiar.

North Carolina has saved one of its prettiest, warmest winter days for its guests from all over.

People gather around cars and lounge and lawn chairs, eating and visiting and drinking and grilling and playing cornhole and drinking bud light.

About which, if I weren't already way over word count, I would have a few choice words.

Bill, if Jesse swear them in.

Please rise and raise your right hands. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth,

so help you God or whatever?

I do.

Yes.

Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling despite the fact that the lake in his backyard literally never freezes over?

I do.

Yes, I do.

Very well.

...