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Well, when I was a kid, I spent one Christmas Eve at my grandmother's house in

B.ville, Texas. And so my brother and I went to bed, Christmas Eve evening with

visions of presence under the Christmas tree in our minds, right? But when I woke up

the next morning, it was not to the promise of presence down the hall, but it was

to a work boot nestled in between my ribs and pushing me up and down on the bed.

And rhythm was a voice that was saying, hey, hey, hey, get up. And it was my grandma's

boyfriend, James. And so I saw him as he walked over to my brother and did the same thing.

And then he walked to the door of our room. But before he exited, he turned around and he said,

get dressed, get into truck. So he walked out. So we got dressed and got in the truck

and began to start driving down the freeway with James, which is important to say at this

point, James was ancient. And so as we were driving, we were concerned for James' life

because he was breathing with this heavy raspian. He was like, oh, I'm like, we're going

to lose this guy. And then I was concerned for my life because as he would drive, you

would just sort of veer off the road under the shoulders. I'm helping him stay on the road.

And so on and on, we're driving in this truck down main roads, down back roads, down dirt

roads, down no roads. Until literally at one point, we are bouncing along in a field. And

...