The Power of Guilt: How Feeling Bad Can Improve Your Relationships | E484

Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

YAP Media Network | Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Relationships, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.7 • 890 Ratings

🗓️ 10 November 2025

⏱️ 42 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

What if the guilt you’ve been trying to shake is a guiding light for better relationships? We spend so much energy trying not to feel guilty, about losing our temper, missing a call, falling short in some way, but guilt isn’t proof that you’re broken. It’s proof that you care. In this episode, I talk with psychologist Dr. Chris Moore about how guilt can actually help you heal your relationships, reconnect with your empathy, and live in alignment with your values. Here’s a peek at what we cover: 00:00 Guilt Is Good: Why Feeling Guilty Can Heal Relationships 01:54 The Guilt Cocktail: Empathy, Anxiety, and Self-Anger 08:24 Guilt vs. Shame: How to Tell the Difference 13:43 Turning Guilt Into Repair: Apology and Forgiveness 16:48 When You Can’t Fix It: Guilt, Grief, and Self-Forgiveness 23:27 Moral Injury, Trauma, and Survivor Guilt 28:37 Chronic Guilt: Why Women Feel It More 33:12 How to Reframe Guilt and Use It as a Guide 41:13 Guilt Means You Care If something in this conversation stirred your heart, maybe an old regret or a relationship you’d love to mend, you don’t have to sort through it alone. You can schedule a consultation with me or a member of my team at Growing Self. It’s a warm, private space to talk about what’s been weighing on you, get help managing guilt in a healthy way, and start moving forward with self-forgiveness and clarity. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

Transcript

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0:00.0	What if the guilt you've been struggling with and trying to escape is actually a good thing?
0:07.6	You know, a lot of us spend a ton of energy beating ourselves up for so many things,
0:14.9	like snapping at our kids, neglecting our friends, not being present with our partner.
0:24.0	And that's bad enough, but then we feel upset with ourselves for feeling guilty about it. We've been socialized to believe that we shouldn't
0:30.2	feel guilty, that it means there's something wrong. But today I'm talking with Dr. Chris Moore,
0:35.6	a psychology professor who has spent three decades studying relationships.
0:41.1	And his research suggests something very different.
0:45.2	Guilt is not a bad thing.
0:47.3	In fact, it is a very, very positive emotion that motivates relationship repair. And when you understand how to use guilt, what it's
0:58.9	really trying to do, which is help you, it becomes something that you can use to actually
1:03.6	heal and strengthen your connections. And so that's what you're going to be learning about
1:09.1	on today's episode of love, happiness,
1:11.3	and success.
1:12.3	I met Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby on Instagram, give you friends on Instagram.
1:16.6	And also, you know, if you haven't already, I hope you subscribe to the show so you don't
1:20.9	miss a single episode.
1:22.5	Welcome, Dr. Chris Moore.
1:25.3	Thank you very much.
1:26.3	It's great to be here, Lisa.
1:29.2	So first of all, Dr. Moore,
1:35.1	congratulations on the book. I mean, the power of guilt. What a provocative title. I love it.
1:42.8	But, you know, the reality is that most of us have been taught to believe that guilt is a terrible emotion that we should avoid.
	...

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