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Secret Mum Club with Sophiena

The Poo Willy 😳

Secret Mum Club with Sophiena

Audio Always

Funny, Confessions, Kids & Family, Kids, Motherhood, Family, Comedy, Relatable, Parenting, Sophiena

4.8603 Ratings

🗓️ 19 May 2026

⏱️ 42 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Just when we thought ‘pizza dick’ was wild, one mum comes in with a whole new name for… down there. Emma’s parents are in town, armed with tools and ready to tackle jobs nobody asked them to do, while Soph shares a huge update about Dottie’s school situation.

Emma Spring Bank Holiday Sale is live! Get up to 25% off plus extra 5% using the code SECRETSLEEP at Emma Sleep. 


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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hello, this is the Secret Mum Club. I'm Safina and I'm Emma. And this podcast is a safe space for

0:08.8

mum's everywhere. Safe space to share our secrets. Because we all have secrets, don't we? We do and as we

0:13.2

know, sharing is caring. You don't even have to tell us who you are. Keep that to yourself,

0:16.6

you can be anonymous. And all those secrets can be serious or silly. All secrets are welcome in the Secret Mum Club. If you listened to last week's episode, I didn't least say Come Club. Because I feel like that's a new name. Listen to Thursday's episode. Thursdays Ep is the Come Club. Yeah. And if you don't know what that is, then you need to listen to find out. How are you doing, honey? I'm okay. Do not I've just realised, it's my wedding anniversary tomorrow. I'm not doing anything. Are you prepared? No. Do you have anything? No. Do you do gifts. Should I? Should I get a card? I'm not a cardy person. I'm the gift. You're the card to this. Sorry, just choked on my. Yeah, I'm a cardy person. sore throat. I'm a cardy bee. I'm not a card. I'm the gift. You're the card to this. Sorry, just choked on my... Yeah, I'm a cardy person.

0:55.2

I'm a cardy person.

0:55.2

I'm a cardy.

0:56.5

I'm a gift.

0:58.1

I love to give a gift you love to world.

0:59.4

Do you do it on your anniversary? You and Chris? No. Oh, okay. Shit, when's mine? Yours is May, isn't it? Fuck, May 15th. Mine's in nine days?

1:07.6

Yeah.

1:08.5

My mom's down on May 14th.

1:10.4

May 14th is a really popular one.

1:11.8

I know three people that got married on the 14th May.

1:13.8

Wow.

1:14.2

Ours is May 14th. May 14th is a really popular one.

1:11.8

I know three people that got married on the 14th May. Wow. Ours is the 7th. But I won't be seeing Stefan because he's working. Oh, will you see him in the morning off? Surprise, surprise. Surprise. No, I won't because I'm staying in London tonight. I'm working in the morning. Well, that could be your excuse to delay it.

1:29.5

To delay it.

1:30.8

I'm staying in London tonight. I'm working in the morning. Well, that could be your excuse to delay it. To delay it. I'm getting back and then he's going to be at work because there's an election. Maybe get a cookie or something for him. He loves a massive election. Does he? Yeah, well, he hasn't got a sweet tooth. Oh. So. Wing stop. Yeah, bring him some chicken. Bring him some chicken.

1:44.6

My mum and dad sometimes gets an anniversary card. And then I'm like, that's embarrassing that you've remembered it. And we haven't even got a car for each other. We're not married, though. Do you only do anniversary cards when you're married? Well, the one we mark now is the wedding anniversary. Because I feel like that takes over from your... sister got married on her day that they got to get them.

2:01.4

That's such a good idea because then you only have one.

2:02.9

So then James never forgot.

2:04.1

But we've basically forgot. wedding anniversary because I feel like that takes over from your... My sister got married on her day that they got together.

...

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