You are now listening to Softcore History.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Softcore History. I'm your host for the week, Dan

Register, joined as always by Robert Fox. What is going on? What's up, buddy? Not much. Just drinking my Christmas beer. Having a good old time. Holiday week. Yeah. It's time to get smashed every day of the week. You have the tree up already? Tree's been up. Oh, wow. Tree's been up. This is like week two of the tree. I've always been a wait till the end of Thanksgiving.

Yeah, my wife is not.

Play put the tree up.

My wife is...

Fake or real?

It's fake, unfortunately.

I prefer a real tree, but there's so many other living things that I have to deal with

that I just can't fucking can't.

God forbid.

Rory knocks it over. Or even Jack, a little dog. A real fucking concern. Yeah. It's a, yeah, one of the kids knocks it over, crushes our old dog. He doesn't die. Dying would actually be preferable, not because I want the dog to die, but the medical bills from keeping him alive. And at that point, in a doggy, just not even worth it at that point, a doggy wheelchair, almost certainly. His back is barely working as it is. Quality of life, just not on point. Yeah, I got to massage his turds out at one in the morning. Oh, yeah. He's not making it to the door. He's pissing and shit in everywhere.

Yeah.

Would we put him down?

No.

No.

You can't. My wife stopped. My wife said that dog since 2010. So. That dog's going to die in her hand shaking. Yes. Yeah. In her arms. so yeah at the end of the day that the tree killing the dog immediately would be financially a windfall compared to the alternative. But that's why it's a fake tree. It's light, plastic. Good to go. Yeah, heavy timber. What are you doing with the turkey? Not much this year, man. I don't want to do the whole fucking... You don't want to go deep fryer? No, I'm not doing the whole fucking thing.

We're just tossing it in the oven. Okay. Yeah, nothing crazy. Your wife doing it or you? I do the turkey for sure, do you? Your wife's not a good cook. Also, but even still, the man cooks the turkey. Yeah. Maybe. That is the gentleman's domain.

Only if you deep ride.

No, man.

Or grill it.

Smok. cooks the turkey. Yeah. Maybe. That is the gentleman's domain. Only if you deep fried. No, man. Or grill it, smoke it. I have, I have not. If it goes in the oven, it's not the guy. No, it's still the guy for the oven. I have done, I have spatchcocked it on my grill before, and I did do, I've done oven several times as well. I think Spatchcock was the best

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