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The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly

The Phantom Poop

The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly

SiriusXM

Robert Kelly, Comedy, Comedy Interviews, Jay Oakerson

4.73.7K Ratings

🗓️ 6 January 2026

⏱️ 35 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Down in Austin, Jay samples all of the culinary delights as Luis J Gomez gets heavier. Bob's family is falling apart because of a phantom excretion. Bobby had constipation and he believes that he finally overcame it but has no evidence to prove it. He places blame on his wife and child for possibly stealing the poop. Bob calls his wife Dawn to accuse her and that's when it hits the fan. Enjoy this new episode that has never aired as a podcast! *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Transcript

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0:00.0

And now the Bonfire with Big J. O'Crison and Robert Kelly.

0:05.0

Yo.

0:06.0

Damn, these guys were pissed.

0:08.0

These were the Leslie Jones of the 90s.

0:10.0

Whoa, whoa.

0:12.0

Whoa, dude.

0:14.0

Onyx, how do I describe Onyx?

0:15.0

It's like if Leslie Jones was four bald black rappers.

0:18.0

You see a trash, Tony?

0:20.0

Oh, she was, it was just, it wasn't just Tony. It was gonna cross the board, I guess shock comedy that I guess she doesn't understand that she does also. Well, let's, I want to hear your incident first, though. Oh. I know. It's so funny, you have your pothead by proxy. I really am. Like, because you also forgot that subject. Like, we could have just, we would have went the rest of the show and never got to your instant impossible. Yeah, probably not. Something happened to me. Great weekend. Halloween was great. Saturday show, Emanuelous Theater. Have you played that yet? What? Emanuous Theater in Emanuelus. Amas. Is that what he's saying? Yeah. No. You should. You love it. It's a great, great town. The theater's such a fucking... I was a little nervous because I was outside before the show and a fucking train. He's going to be there on New Year's Eve. Who? Raymond the Amish comic.

1:11.2

Go back to that.

1:12.1

Raymond the Amish comic. Oh, really? I opened for him at the Italian Villa East Comedy Club out and thing. He had an audience. Very nice guy. He does dirty comedy, and it was the first pair of tits I ever signed to my life was in the audience from that crowd. Really? I opened for him, yeah. That's funny.

1:26.8

Shit gig.

1:27.5

I'd check them out.

1:28.4

This place is great.

1:29.8

The people there love all of us, which is when you go to a club and they love us as like a group of comics, it's just they treat. They just so, everybody was just accommodating. Don told him, like, Bobby's not going to have C. He just wants Gatorade Zero, but Max is coming, so you can have snacks, snacks. They had, it looked like a fucking deli counter. It had cupcakes, full-size every candy bar. They just laid it out for this kid. And it's so funny because he didn't eat really any of it. And then we got in the car and he just like an alcoholic had a trash bag.

2:03.6

He got it all.

2:04.3

He went and got the trash bag from the trash can and just brought it all home, which I respected.

2:11.6

He goes, dad, I got snacks for the ride home.

2:13.2

It's pretty gangster.

2:15.1

Went to Bacon Fest before in the town. There's a town like 20 minutes before it. They have a bacon festival. Why? Because it's bacon? There's only one kind. What do you mean? There's only one kind. You can only make a festival around the one thing. Apparently, like pepper bacon. You've never had bacon canoli?

2:35.2

I would never in a million years.

...

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