The Perfect Crime with Matt Jenner

Shut up a Second

Sanspants Radio

Comedy

4.8 • 535 Ratings

🗓️ 4 June 2025

⏱️ 32 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

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Recorded and produced on Wurundjeri land, we respectfully acknowledge the Wurundjeri People of the Kulin Nation, pay our respect to their Elders past and present, and recognise that sovereignty was never ceded.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	You're listening to the Sans Pants Network.
0:06.7	Hey, everyone.
0:07.5	Welcome to this week's episode of Shut Up a Second.
0:09.5	I am Cass.
0:10.4	He is...
0:11.8	Hayden.
0:12.5	And we are joined by the wonderful Matt Jenner.
0:15.6	Whoa!
0:16.8	Yeah!
0:17.9	I'm here!
0:18.9	He's back!
0:19.9	I'm back!
0:20.9	This is great. It's great to be back. Thanks for having me. Thanks for having me. Oh, my God. Anytime. Tomorrow. Okay. Let's do it. Done. Done. I can't. Love to have you. Oh. Busy. I'm saying time. I got too keen. Then we're about it. And today's topic is the perfect crime.
0:47.3	Do you guys have any schemes?
0:50.6	Any potential perfect crimes?
0:52.2	You've always got a scheme going.
0:54.7	I, do you want to hear about a scheme that I definitely shouldn't do? I want to hear about it. I don't think I've talked about this on the pod before. Should you? Well, I think it'll make me definitely not do it. Okay, that's actually, well, actually can't do it anymore anyway. Okay, that's really good. This is crime prevention. podcast. Yeah, this is good. This is community service for us. He was, he was my plan. I used to work at a pub that was owned by gigantic conglomerate, like multinational. They owned a billion pubs everywhere. And so they had this, apparently this rule, and this is kind of mostly just a rumor. I never saw this written down anywhere official. but like my bosses would say it. If you got stuck, because it was like, they had like pokies and,
1:31.3	and, rule, and there's kind of mostly just a rumor, I never saw this written down anywhere official, but like my bosses would say it. If you got stuck, because it was like, they had like pokey's and shit going on. If you got stuck up at knife point, you got an immediate $16,000 payout for
1:39.4	like workers' comp. And so, I'm singing where this is heading.
1:45.9	What my plan was was this.
1:48.3	Because they open like 24-7 a lot of these places as well.
1:51.2	These are like these weird pubs.
	...

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