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Music Yeah, whoa!

All right, all right, all right. Oh, my God. Oh, my goodness. I see you tried the meth from the gift bags.

Good evening, everyone. So after her selfie boat was intercepted, aging spinster Gretata Thunberg, claims Israel kidnapped her.

But that would be the first kidnapping in history where the kidnappers wanted to cut

off their own ears.

Elon Musk has apologized to Donald Trump, tweeting that he regrets some of his posts and

that they went too far.

As a token of regret, he's offering to impregnate a woman of Trump's choice.

Still harboring a drudge, though, Trump picked this.

Oh, wow.

Yeah, good luck finding that.

I mean, because she's gone.

L.A. mayor, Karen Bass, is warning rioters that the damage is so significant,

they won't be able to host World Cup soccer.

I know. Finally, an upside to host World Cup soccer. I know.

Finally an upside to rioting.

...