This episode was produced with audio effects in full surround sound.

For the best experience, we kindly recommend you listen with headphones. Oh, Merry Christmas! It's that time of year for jollyer, for family and friends and another year's end.

For Red and Green, Silver and Gold,

for gingerbread houses, candies, and snow. for Christmas trees and sweaters and

Christmas sweaters and Christmas music and more Christmas and so on and so forth.

No, Santa's not getting bored of Christmas,

but I thought maybe we should mix it up a little.

Tradition perdition.

Sometimes a little variety is good for the soul.

You can't live on cookies and milk believe me.

December 26 is what I call the porcelain purge.

Hoh!

Anyway, I figured if we're going to shake the pot, let's go all out.

Let's ride this lay to the South Pole and turn Christmas into Halloween.

Great idea, right?

Now I've had the elves down at the post office come through my junk mail, I mean fan mail for anything freaky, spooky, or otherwise

cookey. I receive all manner of posts, jury summons, solar panel ads, holiday newsletters.

Ugh!

Don't tell anyone, but I use them to stoke the fireplace.

Yet aside from the riff-rff and refuse, I also receive letters.

No, these aren't Christmas lists.

This mysterious male is of the most singular and sometimes sinister form.

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