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The Mel Robbins Podcast

The One Science-Backed Habit You Need in 2023

The Mel Robbins Podcast

SiriusXM Podcasts

Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Education, Mental Health, Relationships, Health & Fitness

4.615.3K Ratings

🗓️ 2 January 2023

⏱️ 53 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

I want this year to be the best year of your life. So we’re going to talk about the one habit that researchers say has the biggest, overall impact on the quality of your life. And that habit is learning to be kind and loving to yourself. We all know we need to learn how to love ourselves, but no one has taught you HOW. Until now. In this episode, I am teaching you how to start loving yourself with a simple habit that you can add to your morning routine. I’ve got loads of research to prove why this habit matters and how it will change your life. And bring your Kleenex. Today I’m not only answering questions from some listeners about self-love, I also invited my husband, Chris, to come on and explain why he thought this habit was so stupid when I first shared it with him. The conversation took a turn that I was not expecting. It gets very personal and both Chris and I end up crying. He shares details about a period of his life where the shame and sense of failure were so palpable that he couldn’t even look himself in the mirror. I’m so proud of him, and moved by his vulnerability. This is an episode every man, boy, or anyone who identifies as male needs to hear. It’s not just we women who struggle with self-love; the men in your life are struggling, too. That’s why we all need to be practicing this habit every single morning. You’re going to learn that love is not something you feel; it’s something you must demonstrate. And that’s what I’m going to teach you to do. You’ll want to listen until the very end, because you’ll meet a woman whose entire life trajectory changed by simply trying this habit once. Want to learn more? All of the research - and there’s a lot of it - is linked in the show notes at melrobbins.com/podcast. And if you want to watch a longer, unabridged version of this episode, visit my YouTube channel. Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 1:50 The habit that has changed the lives of thousands of people 3:50 HOW do I love myself? 4:28 Why it’s so hard to love yourself 5:11 The secret to self-love 6:04 What the science says about why you should do this after brushing your teeth 7:05 50% of people find it impossible to do this 9:30 Learn about neurobics and how it helps you learn a new habit faster. 12:22 The dopamine hit that boosts your mood 14:09 What you tell yourself every time you do this one habit 15:25 One study about how this habit creates winning teams 16:40 How this habit helped kids perform better and work longer 20:48 Why my husband, Chris, thought this habit was ridiculous at first 22:20 The profound insight Chris had when he took the 5-day challenge 25:19 Why you’re going to want to share this with the men in your life 25:55 When in his life Chris started to feel like a failure 34:00 What all men struggle with 36:39 What Chris has to say to all the men out there 40:20 Why I sign off every letter and every episode the way I do 45:00 The message from a listener that every skeptic needs to hear For full show notes, go to melrobbins.com/podcast To take the High 5 Challenge, go to High5Challenge.com. Get The High 5 Habit book or eBook.

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hey, it's your friend Mel and welcome to an incredible episode of the Mel Robbins podcast.

0:13.0

I am so excited to talk to you today because today you and I are going to have a conversation

0:18.9

about the most important relationship that you have in life and that's the relationship

0:23.2

that you have with yourself.

0:25.1

And I am going to introduce you to a habit that I want you to start practicing immediately.

0:32.7

This habit, it is the mack daddy of all habits.

0:37.7

You master this habit and it's like that very first domino.

0:41.0

You know when you have dominoes all lined up and there's that one domino in the front that

0:46.3

you're like, boop, and boom, you knock that sucker over and it's like, boom.

0:53.7

And all the other dominoes fall.

0:56.5

We are talking about the gateway to creating a positive ripple effect in your life and improving

1:02.8

the relationship with yourself, how you talk to yourself, how you treat yourself based

1:07.5

on just practicing one habit.

1:11.1

This habit is the secret to self acceptance and self love as your new default.

1:18.1

What habit am I talking about?

1:21.1

What science backed mack daddy, domino dropping habit could this be male?

1:26.9

Well brace yourself because I know you're a smart person.

1:32.0

You might be a little kind of resigned like I am cynical.

1:37.5

So when you hear this, you might think, oh come on, seriously.

1:42.1

But I promise you, by the end of this conversation, you will not only have the clean x's out.

1:50.3

You will be practicing this habit.

1:52.8

The habit I'm referring to is simply high fiving yourself in the mirror as part of your

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