Here's the deal. Most people don't plan to ruin their marriage. They just don't plan not to.

Nobody walks down the aisle and thinks, we'll give this five years. See how it goes, and if it's not working, then then we'll just walk away and start over but slowly and quietly

in so many relationships something starts to die over time and it's not usually because of an affair or some big blow-up. Most often,

it's because somebody stops going first. How many of you remember dating? Raise your hand.

Remember dating? Remember dating?

Remember dating?

This is a picture of Amy and me dating.

This was our top gun moment in dating.

And in dating, if you remember, when you're in love and all the love songs on the radio makes sense, you fight to go first. You remember? You want to text

first, you want to ask them out first. You're the first to call. You're the first to plan

something special. You go first on everything except for one exception, and that's at two in the

morning when you're talking on the phone, the only time

you don't want to go first is you don't want to hang up first. No, you hang up first. No, no, no,

you hang up first. No, you hang up first. And then you just sit there and breathe for a long period of

time. It's not even heavy breathing. It's just awkward 2 a.m. you go first breathing. Did any of you

do that? Raise your hand. Online, you can type in there, I did that, just type it in online.

You fought to go first, and you're dating. Why? Because that's what love does before we get

selfish. And somewhere along the way in our relationship, like, you know, we're doing everything

we can to win the person, then we get married, and then we just get comfortable. And without even know it,

we just start taking each other for granted. And then one day, in a place that you normally would go

first, you simply just choose not to go first. And then one day your spouse doesn't go first and nobody even notices it

for a period of time. But after a while, when you stop going first, things start going backwards.

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