Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast.

I'm guest Baylif Liz Gilbert in For Jesse Thorn.

This week, the obligatory name drop.

Fran and her sister Evelyn belong to a family with a long history of nicknaming.

Evelyn decided many years ago that she was not fond of her childhood nickname and demanded

that the family cease its usage.

Fran tries to use Evelyn's preferred name, but slips up when talking to other members

of the family.

Did Fran and her siblings be forced to quit using Evelyn's nickname, even when she's

not physically present?

Only one man can decide.

Please rise as the honorable Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom.

Hey, you don't have to call me John Hodgman.

My name's John Hodgman, but you can call me John or you can call me Hodgman or you

can call me John Hodgman or J.H or Jaha or Joho or Jo Hodg, but don't call me any of

those things because that's really dumb and I'm the judge, so Liz, swear them in.

Fran and Evelyn, please rise and raise your right hands.

Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you

God or whatever?

I do.

Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling to spite the fact that the only

nicknames he will accept for himself are those that have been hand-forged for him by

...