meta_pixel
Tapesearch Logo
Log in
Judge John Hodgman

Live Freon or Die

Judge John Hodgman

Jesse Thorn

World, Show, Complete, Hodgeman, Comedy, Pc, Daily, Hodgman, Mac, More, Expertise, Knowledge, Information

4.87.7K Ratings

🗓️ 24 October 2012

⏱️ 49 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

This week, daughter squares off against father in a temperature tiff! Olivia brings the case against her father Mike. Mike lives in Arizona where temperatures often soar, and he drives a car without air conditioning. Olivia believes this is a health hazard and disapproves of her father's homemade solutions to cool his vehicle, citing specific times when his efforts have embarrassed him. Mike contends plenty of people have survived without air conditioning in the past and claims he enjoys employing his improvised fixes. Who is right in this coolness quarrel? Judge John Hodgman will decide.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm guest Bayliffe Liz Gilbert in

0:06.0

For Jesse Thorn. This week, live free on or die. Olivia brings the case

0:12.6

against her dad, Mike, both live in the Arizona desert. The air conditioning in

0:17.6

Mike's car hasn't worked for some time and he's implemented a number of

0:21.2

stopgap measures to cool off. Mike sees no pressing need to get the car's AC fixed

0:27.2

but Olivia begs to differ, saying his methods are embarrassing and potentially

0:31.9

dangerous. Should Mike be ordered to fix the AC or should Olivia chill out? Only one man can decide.

0:40.6

Please rise as the honorable Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom.

0:46.2

The word that guest Bayliffe Liz Gilbert is unable to put into the hot still

0:50.7

sudden air is doomed. Because one month ago, this courtroom suddenly

0:56.2

changed its elliptical orbit and in so doing began to follow a path which

1:00.0

gradually, moment by moment, day by day, took it closer to the sun and all of

1:06.4

man's little devices to stir up the air are now no longer luxuries. They

1:12.0

happen to be pitiful and panicky keys to survival. The time is five minutes to

1:17.6

standard internet time. There's no more darkness. The place is Park Slope Brooklyn and this is

1:22.9

the eve of the end because even at midnight, it's high noon, the hottest day in history,

1:27.3

and you're about to spend it in the court of Judge John Hodgman.

1:30.7

Swear them in Liz. Olivia and Mike, please rise and raise your right hands.

1:37.5

Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? So help you

1:41.7

God or whatever. I do. Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling,

1:47.7

despite the fact that he has not been to Arizona, nor in a private car, nor out of doors,

1:53.3

in over a decade? Thank you. Judge Hodgman, you may begin.

...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Jesse Thorn, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Jesse Thorn and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.

Copyright © Tapesearch 2025.