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Delusional Diaries

the non-wedding wedding

Delusional Diaries

PodcastOne

Society & Culture

4.11.3K Ratings

🗓️ 19 March 2026

⏱️ 54 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

this week on delusional diaries, halley and jaz are all over the place in the best way, starting with losing their voices, random health spirals, and immediately getting irritated by the internet. from unsolicited outfit commentary to people creating problems out of thin air, they get into why being perceived online is a losing game, and why sometimes you just have to laugh and move on (or at least pretend to). 


then it’s full-on life logistics mode as halley dives into planning her “not a wedding” wedding, and realizes it’s basically… a wedding. they break down everything from vendors and food to guest dynamics, timing stress, and the very real pressure of making sure everyone has a good time. it’s less about tradition and more about creating a night that actually feels fun, which somehow comes with its own level of chaos. meanwhile, home renovations, decor decisions, and spending spirals are in full swing, because apparently everything happens all at once.


and because nothing stays normal for long, the episode takes a hard left: wild stories from the engagement party, lost luggage drama, matcha obsession updates, and a passionate rant about people who don’t pick up after their dogs. they also get into jewelry dilemmas, their blocks of the week, apartment decisions, and the tiny inconveniences that somehow take up your entire day. it’s unhinged, it’s relatable, and it’s exactly the kind of chaotic life update you’d expect from your favorite duo.


Timestamps 

0:18 - we might be getting sick  

2:09 - block of the week 

5:36 - Halley’s party plans 

16:33 - house updates

28:40 - Jaz is (actually) staying in her apartment

39:35 - b**ching hour  

48:39 - David’s protein bars



More of Delusional Diaries Podcast:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/delusionaldiariespodcast/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@delusionaldiariespodcast

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@Delusionaldiariespodcast

Substack: https://delusionaldiariespodcast.substack.com/

Website: https://delusionaldiaries.com/


More of Halley:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/halleykmcg/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@halleykate


More of Jaz:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/justjazzzyidk/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@justjazzzyidk

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/justjazzzyidk


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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hi, guys. Welcome back to Delusional Diaries podcast. I'm Hallie. And I'm Jazz. I feel like we're both kind of losing our voices.

0:17.7

I don't know why. I've been like on the verge of losing my voice. I think I know what. Why? It's because it got hot, then I got cold. Is that why you lose your

0:24.1

voice? Well, Courtney came over today. She was like, I think I'm like getting cold or something.

0:28.7

And she's like, it's the temperature changing. I mean, I believe that I feel like that was fact.

0:32.4

It does make me sick. Usually like the fall and, I always get really sick, which is so annoying. I did escape the flu this year. Thank God. I did not. That was the worst, like, five days of my life. Like, Kevin and I literally referenced that whenever we even get, like, the slight tickle in our throat. Like, we have, like, PTSD, because we've both never been so bad at the same time for such a long period of time. I genuinely, like, felt like, we didn't talk the whole time because I was like, hey, by the way, I might not make it. This is why I started doing my will on my estate planning because I was so stressed. This would happen again. And I would take me out. I mean, real. That was the quickest you've ever influenced me on anything because I saw how bad you were. And I immediately went and got my flu shot like the next day, never got it, feeling really,

1:11.3

really good about that. But I need to now remember to get my flu shot every year because I always forget or Zillian a little bit and I just need to make it an absolute priority. I also feel like I always think I'm going to get really sick from the symptoms. So I'm like, well, I can't do it this day, whatever. But like I personally didn't get sick from my symptoms at all. Yeah, I know. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't, but either way, I'm always getting that shot.

1:30.8

But what's crazy is like that. whatever, but like I personally didn't get sick from my symptoms at all. Yeah, I know. I mean,

1:27.6

sometimes I do, sometimes I don't, but either way, I'm always getting that shot. But what's crazy is I had my flu shot scheduled for the weekend. I got sick. And I was like, you've got to be kidding me. Like, this is crazy. Also speaking of us talking about getting our flu shots on those podcasts, we got a DM, like back when that episode aired, like when I had the flu and stuff, people be like, you need to disclose that this is an ad for getting your flu shot.

1:46.6

Oh, that's crazy.

1:47.4

God forbid. We actually... We got a DM, like, back when that episode aired, like, when I had the flu and stuff, people be like, you need to disclose that this is an ad for getting your flu shot.

1:46.5

Oh, that's crazy.

1:47.6

God forbid.

1:48.1

We actually do do flu shot ads. But ours wasn't. Ours, genuinely. You can pretty much tell when our ads are ads. I feel like that's always really. Not pretty much you can. They're disclosed. But I meant like also like the podcast said, like you know when that's a podcast said. Let's be fucking's be fucking for real. Yeah yeah yeah. Like come on. But so great to be here sitting on this couch. I have some things to say. I do have a block of the week this week. Oh, you were prepared for that. I was. This girl comments on my video. And you know what? I actually didn't block her, but she's my block of the week because I needed her to see my comment back and she blocked someone I can't see

2:20.2

your comment back which video is it on um like me and my like going to the bar outfit

2:24.7

why did you wear the most basic casual outfit to your friend's wedding slash engagement party

2:30.4

i replied because it was a casual apartment party and went to the bar after. We weren't

2:34.2

supposed to dress up. Everyone else was dressed up. That's why I asked. I was like, that's simply just not true. There was so many videos that everyone was wearing jeans. Yeah, Reed was wearing jeans. Like, everyone was wearing jeans. Like, God forbid. Also, like, if I would have gotten too dressed up, you would have said that I tried to out shining. Yeah. We were being competitive. Like, be fucking for real.

2:52.0

I think my

2:52.5

apartment party.

2:53.2

My thing is

2:53.8

it's just really

2:54.3

never that serious. Like, if it's a black tie, even so, like even- But if you gave a dress code, though, like, I would have followed it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just saying, like, even black tie, I feel like people don't actually technically follow black tie 90% of the time.

...

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