We are Ken Jennings and John Roderick.

We are receiving this message.

We are Ken Jennings and John Roderick. We speak to you from our present, which we can only assume is your distant past, the turbulent time that was the early 21st century.

Fearing the great cataclysm that will surely befall our civilization, we began this monumental

reference of strange and obscure human knowledge.

These recordings represent our attempt to compile and preserve wonders and esoterica that would otherwise be lost.

So whether you're listening from an advanced civilization or have just reinvented the technology to decrypt our transmissions,

this is our legacy to you. This is our time capsule. This is the

omnibus. Oh, You have accessed entry 836 dot M.T 0208.

Certificate number 32762.

The next Dalai Lama.

Of course I accept it on behalf of the six men Tibetan people.

My brave countrymen and women inside Tibet, who have suffered and

continue to suffer so much.

I have a friend who's on the board of some local do-gooder

non-profits. I really thought you were going to say I have a friend that's

potentially the next Dalai Lama. I have a friend that goes to shows. Is it me?

When she gets home and she blows her nose. Yeah, I mean who do you think the

next Dalai Lama is going to be? It's got to be a kid, right? It could be one. You don't think it's one of us?

Personally, I feel like... What do you think your odds are? I think my odds are greater that I will be

uh... tapped by the ufos to speak on their behalf using they will mentally telepathy their

thoughts to me and then I will sit behind a sort of a talk show host desk on you know international television.

...