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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Hello, I'm Andy Zoltzman.

We are in a tent in a field at the Hay Festival,

one of the leading literary festivals in the known universe.

So, book fans are you sitting comfortably?

Well, you absolutely shouldn't be.

Have you not been watching the news for the last 30,000 years?

Anyway, welcome to the news quiz.

I'm appropriately enough, we are at a literature festival,

very much the burning man of books.

This place in a week, which has finally seen

the publication of a long awaited literary masterpiece.

60 pages of grey, and we'll be analysing...

..we'll be analysing this fascinating piece of literature.

What does it really mean?

I think it's more about what it doesn't say than what it does.

And was it really wise to have a story with so few likable characters in it?

And then such a crudely drawn, unbelievable lead.

Since we are in Hay on White, our teams this week are Team Hay and Team White,

which are short for Team Hay,

you're destroying our democracy from within,

...