The Neuroscience of Resentment and Forgiveness

The Best of You

Dr. Alison Cook

Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.9 • 957 Ratings

🗓️ 17 April 2026

⏱️ 8 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Today’s Scripture is: Romans 12:9–18 **Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.** "Hate what is evil" and "bless those who persecute you" can feel like an impossible tension — until you understand what Paul is actually asking for. This episode unpacks one of scripture's most demanding passages and makes the case that clarity and love are not opposites. We explore: We'll explore: -The difference between naming harm and becoming hardened by it -What the research tells us about resentment and what chronic unforgiveness does to our bodies and brains -The two dimensions of forgiveness — and why neither requires you to minimize harm or trust someone who hasn't earned it We love hearing from you! If there is a topic or Scripture you'd like us to cover on the podcast, please email us at info@dralisoncook.com Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey everyone, I'm Dr. Allison.
0:03.4	Today's scripture offers us a wiser way of being human as we step into the day.
0:12.1	Today's episode comes from a listener request, and it's such a good topic.
0:16.1	So thank you so much for sending it in.
0:18.1	I love hearing from you.
0:20.3	Some passages in scripture hold
0:21.9	attention that can feel almost impossible to live out. Romans 12 is one of them. It calls us to
0:28.3	love deeply and also to see clearly. And those two things, love and clarity, can often feel
0:35.4	like they're pulling in opposite directions. Today's passage is
0:39.5	selected verses from Romans 12, 9 through 17. Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil. Cling to what is good.
0:48.6	Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual
0:55.6	fervor serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient and affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with
1:01.9	the Lord's people who are in need, practice, hospitality. Bless those who persecute you,
1:08.0	bless and do not curse. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful
1:14.5	to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. How do you hate what is evil and bless those who
1:21.8	hurt you? At first glance, these seem to contradict each other. How do you hold moral clarity,
1:27.2	even outrage at what harms,
1:28.8	and simultaneously offer blessing to the one who caused harm? How do you stay open without becoming naive?
1:36.8	Faith communities have sometimes collapsed into one side or the other. We either minimize the harm,
1:41.8	rush to forgiveness, and call it holiness, or we harden completely, cut off, and call it wisdom.
1:48.1	But Paul is asking for something much more nuanced than either of those extremes.
1:53.0	I want to start with some research that I find really interesting.
	...

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