The Myth of "I Shouldn't Have to Tell Them Because it Takes the Romance Out": Episode 222
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
Aaron & Jocelyn Freeman
5.0 • 589 Ratings
🗓️ 26 April 2022
⏱️ 19 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
There's something you wish your partner would do for/with you. Or there's something you want to receive or experience in your partnership. But you might have thought to yourself, "if I tell them that I want _____, it won't be as romantic because they didn't think of it themselves."
This episode is about rethinking what is really ROMANTIC, and how to set your partner up for success to fulfill your wants and needs….whether it's a small or big gesture within the partnership.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hello and welcome to the Empowered Couples podcast. We're here you get modern, non-boring relationship advice for you and your partner to communicate like pros, fight smarter, and stay in the same team no matter the challenge that you face. I am one of your host, Aaron Freeman. And I'm Jocelyn Freeman, but you all just know us as the Freeman's. And today's episode is the myth of I shouldn't have to tell them because it takes the romance out. |
| 0:22.2 | This is key. This is when I had to work through personally, you know, thinking it's not |
| 0:26.6 | romantic if I have to tell you to do it. So this is probably what has happened for you at |
| 0:33.3 | least once, maybe multiple times, hence if we want to really myth bust this whole idea. |
| 0:39.5 | Okay, so the story goes for many partners and really check if this is you. |
| 0:45.1 | There is something that you want or you need in a relationship. |
| 0:49.5 | And then you think I shouldn't have to tell them because then it's not thoughtful or romantic |
| 0:56.8 | if they then do it. |
| 0:58.9 | Sometimes you can think or if they cared, they would just know. |
| 1:03.1 | Right. |
| 1:04.2 | Then the thing that you want to need doesn't happen. |
| 1:08.3 | We laugh, but let's stay with how this cycle goes. It doesn't happen and then |
| 1:14.3 | you get disappointed. Now, you either tell them because you're now upset and we'll give you some good |
| 1:20.6 | examples. You forgot my birthday. That wasn't fun enough. You didn't get me any flowers. So you tell |
| 1:26.0 | them and it becomes an upset. Or you don't say |
| 1:29.7 | anything and it comes out later as a reaction and starts an argument seemingly about something else. |
| 1:39.0 | Right. Exactly. You said that cycle so perfectly. And actually I had flashbacks to previous relationships |
| 1:45.3 | where I did this. |
| 1:46.9 | I really did believe that if they cared enough or if it was really going to be romantic and |
| 1:53.2 | special, it had to be their idea. |
| 1:55.7 | I shouldn't have to tell them. |
| 1:57.1 | Like if you really loved me enough, you would just know on a Wednesday I want flowers. |
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