The Most Stoic Person In Marcus’ Life
The Daily Dad
Daily Dad
4.6 • 630 Ratings
🗓️ 31 May 2023
⏱️ 4 minutes
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Summary
Antoninus Pius, Marcus Aurelius’ adopted father and predecessor, was not a Stoic. He didn’t identify as, nor did anyone call him, a philosopher. He left behind no writings. There are no anecdotes of him dropping in on lectures in Greece or studying under some guru.
And yet, of all the people in Marcus’ life, Antoninus was the most Stoic. He was cool under pressure. He quietly went about his business. He was hard-working, self-sufficient, and never got worked up. He was a beloved leader. His mere presence put other people at ease.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the Daily Dad podcast, where we provide one lesson every single day to help you with your most important job, being a parent. |
| 0:15.0 | I'm Ryan Holiday, and I draw these lessons from ancient philosophy, modern psychology, practical wisdom, and |
| 0:23.6 | insights from parents just like you all over the world. Thank you for listening, and we hope this |
| 0:30.1 | helps. Any parent who has had young kids takes a minute to remind younger parents with babies of this. |
| 0:38.6 | Yes, you want them to start crawling, but as soon as they do, you'll miss being able to set |
| 0:43.6 | them down and not having to worry they'll move. The funny thing is, the more you think about it, |
| 0:49.1 | pretty much all phases of parenting are some version of this. You just want some peace and quiet from the same |
| 0:56.3 | kid that you just spent all this time trying to teach their first words to. You're exhausted. |
| 1:02.6 | From chasing down the kid, you were worried with slow in taking their first steps. You're |
| 1:07.4 | cleaning off the walls drawn by the kid you wanted to be left-handed just like you, |
| 1:11.9 | the one you bought the special pencil grip for. You're frustrated by the attitude of your teenager |
| 1:17.1 | who is expressing the independence you craved when they were clinging all over you, and now you're |
| 1:22.6 | pacing your empty nest recently left by the kid you thought would never grow up and get their act together. |
| 1:29.0 | We have to understand that what we want as parents is paradoxical. We want things to be easy, |
| 1:34.8 | and yet we know that all the good developments will be hard. We have to anticipate there's going |
| 1:39.8 | to be pain in all the phases of this job we signed up for. We have to understand that even our successes |
| 1:46.2 | are going to be slightly bittersweet and sometimes just plain bitter. When we get it, we have to |
| 1:53.2 | remind ourselves, this is what I wanted. We have to remember that it's better than the alternative, |
| 1:58.7 | that we'd rather be chasing them than not being talked back |
| 2:01.7 | to than not, having them be independent than not. It won't be easy. It will drive us nuts. It will |
| 2:08.1 | sometimes break our heart, but such is our fate. I love doing I love doing projects with my kids. |
| 2:39.0 | It's a way to get lost in an activity together, to not be involved with screens, to show them the joys of learning and time together and being creative. |
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