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Moral Maze

The morality of marriage

Moral Maze

BBC

Society & Culture, Religion & Spirituality

4.5609 Ratings

🗓️ 26 February 2024

⏱️ 56 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

It’s Valentine’s Day, when we celebrate romantic love, and is there anything more romantic than getting married? It’s the way all those old films end, after all the “will they, won’t they”, the couple finally tie the knot, the titles roll and we all enjoy the warm certainty that they’re sorted for life. What’s not to love about marriage? A lifelong commitment to care for each other... a solemn promise rooted in love… perhaps the foundation for starting a family. But for many, marriage is losing its gloss. The latest government figures suggest that the proportion of adults in England and Wales who are married has, for the first time, fallen below 50%. The rise of pre-nuptial agreements signals a change in levels of confidence about marriage. Is forever still forever? If it probably isn’t – then let’s just plan ahead for when it all goes wrong. We live much longer than in the past, so “til death us do part” is likely to be a very long time indeed. Perhaps it’s now unreasonable to expect a lifelong commitment. Short of that, are human beings even built for monogamy? If love dies in a marriage, should that be the end, or is marital commitment broader than that? There is some evidence that outcomes for children are better if parents are married, and some people see it as a fundamental building block of society. But is there a moral value to marriage? Is it a striving for what is finest about being human, the highest realisation of not just romantic love, but of that important social unit – the couple? Or just an old fashioned idea, rooted in outdated traditions, all wrapped up in a sentimental rose tinted fantasy?

Presenter: Michael Buerk Producers: Jonathan Hallewell and Peter Everett Assistant Producer: Ruth Purser Editor: Tim Pemberton

Transcript

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0:00.0

BBC Sounds, Music, Radio, Podcasts.

0:04.7

Well, hello, there you are.

0:06.6

It's Valentine's Day, dedicated to the patron saint of lovers, epileptics and beekeepers,

0:12.4

who came to a sticky end shortly after sending the first Valentine card to the daughter of his jailer.

0:18.1

As far as we know, he never married.

0:19.8

But that institution came to represent

0:22.2

the logical conclusion to romance, the morally essential prerequisite for having sex, the proper

0:28.2

environment for bringing up children, and the glue that holds society itself together.

0:32.9

Until now, figures released a couple of weeks ago show that for the first time, most British adults

0:38.7

are not married or in a civil partnership. Half the nation's children are now born out of

0:44.1

wedlock. We've fallen out of love with marriage, but does it matter? Well, statistically,

0:49.5

children born to unmarried parents do worse at school and more likely to have problems with drugs

0:54.1

and alcohol, break the law, have worse jobs, and of course be unmarried parents do worse at school and more likely to have problems with drugs and alcohol,

0:55.0

break the law, have worse jobs, and of course be unmarried themselves.

0:59.4

There's a usual argument about whether correlation is causation, but what can't be denied

1:04.3

is that on average married relationships last some three times as long as unmarried ones.

1:09.3

This is more than a question of outcomes, though.

1:12.1

It's about the morality of lifelong commitment

1:14.4

in an age when lives tend to be so much longer than they were.

1:18.8

A human's built for monogamy.

1:20.7

Is it reasonable to expect someone who set your hormones jangling at 18

1:24.9

is going to be the ideal soulmate at 80?

...

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