The Mitch That Stole Christmas

Titus Podcast

Christopher Titus

Performing Arts, Arts, Comedy

4.5 • 2.2K Ratings

🗓️ 4 December 2020

⏱️ 82 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

You're a mean one, Mr. Mitch. You're as cuddly as a commie, as charming as an appeal, Mr. MITCH! Your chin is an appalling dump heap overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable republicans imaginable, mangled up in tangled up knots! Titus, Bombshell, and The Hylinder also talk weird news, and workouts that sting!

Titus Podcast ...because the world is a clown show.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Everybody, Willie Jellon Johnson for the Titus podcast brought to you today by Butcher Box, yeah, and Harry's raises.
0:14.4	So eat some meat and then shave.
0:16.6	And now with the Army getting update, Christopher Titus.
0:22.2	I'm Christopher Titus, and this is the Armageddon update.
0:27.3	How are you doing? Not good, right?
0:29.5	We are currently losing 2,000 plus people a day to COVID,
0:32.9	and if you sling food and drink, everybody's jobs are on hold,
0:35.9	unless you live in Florida, And then you get to go to
0:38.1	Hooters for lunch, unfettered, and have your COVID breathed upon you by a girl in a push-up bra and
0:43.2	camel-toe shorts. Good job, Governor DeSantis. COVID is raging. The vaccine is months away unless you are
0:50.5	older than Chuck Grassley or one of our amazing medical heroes who are trying to save people older than Chuck Grassley, or one of our amazing medical heroes
0:54.2	who are trying to save people older than Chuck Grassley.
0:57.7	So, we have at least four months
0:59.8	before we all get something that was rushed through testing,
1:03.4	injected directly into our bodies.
1:05.1	Hey, hey, hey, at least it's not bleach.
1:07.5	Or just very powerful light.
1:09.3	It's a low bar.
1:11.7	This is the fastest vaccines has ever been created.
1:14.8	Thank you, science.
1:15.6	You are a rock star.
1:16.5	No matter how many toothless morons and orange dipshit say you aren't.
	...

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