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Relationship Advice

The Mental Load in Relationships (Why It Causes Stress)

Relationship Advice

Colter Bloxom

Relationships, Mental Health, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness

4.41.7K Ratings

🗓️ 28 March 2026

⏱️ 54 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

The mental load in relationships refers to the invisible work of planning, remembering, organizing, and anticipating what needs to happen in a household or family. When one partner carries more of this cognitive responsibility, it can lead to stress, resentment, and the feeling that the other partner assumes things “magically” get done. Couples can reduce conflict by communicating openly about expectations, acknowledging differences in capacity and strengths, and creating clear agreements about responsibilities. Main Talking Points: Invisible cognitive work Household task planning Capacity differences Clear expectations Communication over criticism Appreciation and teamwork Give Me Discounts!  ⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning. ⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠ ⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠ -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! ⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! ⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

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0:24.3

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0:28.7

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0:29.7

Hey friends, welcome to relationship advice. I'm Coulter.

0:33.0

And I'm Lauren, and we will be joined with our friend Kayla in just a moment.

0:36.8

We are all licensed professional

0:38.2

therapists and real-life friends who care deeply about helping people feel more connected

0:42.5

in their relationships. On this show, we help you make sense of these stuck spots, the patterns,

0:47.4

the fights, the disconnections that keep showing up even when you're really putting in the work.

0:51.7

You can expect honest conversations, practical insight, and stories that help you understand

0:56.2

why things feel hard and what actually helps.

0:59.4

Whether you're here to improve your relationship, understand yourself better, or just feel a little less alone.

1:04.9

You're in the right place.

1:06.2

Let's get into today's episode.

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